vanillafluffy | This floors me....

Blurb under a Yahoo "news" story: Jesse James reportedly is seeking professional help to deal with "personal issues" after a cheating scandal that has put his nearly five-year marriage to Sandra Bullock on the line.

Nearly five years? What have we become as a society that five years is considered a LONG time for a marriage to last?! My parents were of the "til death to us part" generation---but then, my dad also worked for the same company for 30+ years, and I will admit, I've never made it past five with any of my jobs, though not for lack of trying.

There's a clue there; he's "seeking professional help". While there can be good reasons for that, too often I believe it's used as an excuse. (Personal issues, my ass.) Oh poor me, I have ISSUES, I don't have to take personal responsibility because it's all outside my control. Dude, save your money. I don't care if your jewels turn blue and explode, if you really respect the woman you're married to, you'll rein in those horn-dog impulses of yours. Suck it up and keep it in your pants, it's that goddamn simple.
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I know!!! Apparently though, he has a REAL problem keeping it in his pants. There was the employee who filed sexual harassment charges on him. There was another woman who alleged sexual harassment, but never filed charges. So this is nothing new. I just hate that Sandra was so snowed by him that she thought he'd be faithful to her.

I don't know him from John Smith, don't know his history, don't much care. I felt really bad for Sandra, especially since the story broke on the heels of her telling Barbara Walters that she was so happy and secure because Jesse had her back. How humiliating for her.

I didn't read the "nearly five year marriage" as "holy cow long marriage" - just that they've been married for just short of five years.

I can't say I'm at all surprised that he turned out to be the complete dickhead I always thought he was. Feel sorry for Sandy, though. I love Sandy.

I may be sensitive about the whole marriage thing. It seems like so many couples treat marriage like a lease on an apartment or a car---Oops, time to trade the spouse in on this year's model! Oh, that was too much of a fixer-upper, it's time to get a spouse in a better neighborhood! (Is it possible to be both naive AND cynical?!)

Preach it, sister! I have major issues with anyone who doesn't take their wedding vows with total sincerity. It's the worst kind of dishonesty, and nothing excuses infidelity.

I feel very sorry for SB. She's clearly a classy person and threw her heart and soul into a marriage with a guy who's turned out to be as big a turd as everyone always suspected he was.

(I love the mileage you've gotten out of that photo of JDM!)

Uh-huh. It's one thing to sow some wild oats, but my creed says, when you get married, that's it. You are supposed to cowboy up and settle down (to mix a metaphor). Leave being an irresponsible douchebag to the single guys.

That pic was destined to be an icon! It really is worth a thousand words---or one really good laugh.

Word from the snakepit: Jesse James has been hanging around the LA porn scene (is there one elsewhere in the US? I don't think so--not one that turns out 300+ movies a month) since the late 90's. The crap he pulled on Janine is WELL-KNOWN (he dumped her for Sandra---when she was 8 mos. preggers--what a guy!) He's nothing more than a biker who got himself a porn star and traded up for a movie star.

So it shouldn't surprise anyone that he's behaving like a media-whore. He is one and most of what he's learned in 5 years about the biz, he's learned from Bullock. I have no sympathy for either of them.

*shrug* I vaguely knew he was the guy from the motorcycle show, but like I'm more of a dog person than a cat person, I'm more of a car person than a bike person. So I didn't know anything about JJ and his backstory. And I don't care---I still think his current actions are reprehensible.

Speaking as a woman who's been in the position of having been humiliated by a horndog bastard, I *do* feel sorry for Sandra. YMMV.

It is sad....saddest of all for that poor kid of his! He's stuck her in the middle and egged his wife on to fight his custody battle. The whole thing is really revolting. Unfortunately, it's not unusual around the fringes--it's pretty common.

And I DO think it was really filthy of him to ruin her Oscar year like this. That blows and it's SO typical of that kind of male. *nods* Yeah. For that, I do have some sympathy.

I'm not sure the phrasing implied that it was a particularly long time, just making the point of how long they'd been together. However, you can also say that by Hollywood standards, especially as seen by a certain segment of the populace who always call it "Hollyweird" and have nothing nice to say...it is a long time.

Today, yes, but if you look at the older generation of Hollywood (the ones who are dying out, alas), they made their marriages work. Thirty, forty, fifty years---it can be done, but I suppose part of that is, they generally weren't two-career families with dueling egos. Heretical as it may sound, sometimes, I don't think Women's Lib did us any favors.

I'm not sure you can generalize about either Hollywood or the population as a whole. Some marriages work, some don't, no matter who you are. You can be someone who stays married FOREVER or you can be Liz Taylor, Mickey Rooney, etc. (Or you can be Spencer Tracy or Gary Cooper, who stayed with their wives because of Catholicism, but weren't actually faithful, some more publically than others.)

About the only thing I'll say about the women's movement relative to marriage is that made it socially more acceptable for women to get out of bad marriages, when previously the societal pressure to stay would have been stronger.

Yeah, I'm romanticizing, bad habit of mine. There are enough of that crowd who aren't married but have had successful long-term relationships---it's a question of commitment, not a white dress and a piece of paper.

And I agree, I know some gals who are well rid of the bozos they married. (I just want a non-bozo to keep my in the style to which I would like to become accustomed. Call me a throwback to a 50s housewife....)

You know what really bugged me, was hearing that Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandan had split, because they seemed like a couple that really had it together. Kids, politics etc. So that was a bit disillusioning.

And to make one more not terribly relevant point, since I brought up La Liz. I firmly believe that every time she got married and said the words, she honestly thought it would be forever. I think aside from being the patron saint of Fag-Hags, she's also the greatest romantic of all time.

AMEN.

Especially after just going through a divorce where the bastard cheated on me (and spawned, no less), I have absolute ZERO tolerance for these douchebags.

Don't I know it. I think most of us gals who've been screwed over would happily bring tar, feathers and pitchforks to the party.

Vanilla, i think you are a darling person so please don't take this wrong but I find it very difficult to care about the marriage of a very dull actress and some guy I never heard of.

Chocolate, this is America and you're entitled to your opinion, but I think you're missing the point. This isn't so much about SB and JJ as it is my disgust at a cheating horndog bastard using "therapy" as a get out of jail free card for his bad behavior. And since *I* have been in the position of being wronged by a cheating horndog bastard, I know how awful it feels, and I was only humiliated in front of a couple dozen people who knew us, not the whole freaking country. Whatever you may think of SB, I don't believe any woman derserves that.

fair enough.

I always thought she had too much class for him.

This floors me....

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