An open letter to Boyd Crowder
Oct. 15th, 2010 11:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vanillafluffyDear Boyd,
I need your help. My quiet, elderly neighbors have departed for the final destination of the elderly, and recently, their house has been occupied by less desirable folks. Not elderly and not quiet: They have several screaming kids---I haven't taken a headcount, but at least two, plus a baby. They have two dogs that bark for an hour if a squirrel farts on the next block. Their cars are rolling boomboxes and they come and go at all hours. I suspect the worst about that.
Please don't say, "Love they neighbor." --- although if you did, I probably couldn't hear it over the thumping bass from their damn rap songs. I'd love these individuals a whole lot more if they were someone else's naighbors, preferably someone in another state. Like Alaska.
I want my nice, quiet neighborhood back. To that end, won't you please come to Florida and bring your rocket launcher? Blow the damn house to Kingdom Come and I'd be eternally grateful. (The dogs are always out in the yard, I can call Animal Control for them.)
I look forward to hearing back from you, and even more to hearing "Fire in the Hole!".
Praise the Lord --- and pass the ammunition,
Vanillafluffy
PS --- On second thought. I'll let you know when I'll be gone for movie night at church, so you can blow up MY house. I'll collect the insurance and go live on a farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. That works.
.
I need your help. My quiet, elderly neighbors have departed for the final destination of the elderly, and recently, their house has been occupied by less desirable folks. Not elderly and not quiet: They have several screaming kids---I haven't taken a headcount, but at least two, plus a baby. They have two dogs that bark for an hour if a squirrel farts on the next block. Their cars are rolling boomboxes and they come and go at all hours. I suspect the worst about that.
Please don't say, "Love they neighbor." --- although if you did, I probably couldn't hear it over the thumping bass from their damn rap songs. I'd love these individuals a whole lot more if they were someone else's naighbors, preferably someone in another state. Like Alaska.
I want my nice, quiet neighborhood back. To that end, won't you please come to Florida and bring your rocket launcher? Blow the damn house to Kingdom Come and I'd be eternally grateful. (The dogs are always out in the yard, I can call Animal Control for them.)
I look forward to hearing back from you, and even more to hearing "Fire in the Hole!".
Praise the Lord --- and pass the ammunition,
Vanillafluffy
PS --- On second thought. I'll let you know when I'll be gone for movie night at church, so you can blow up MY house. I'll collect the insurance and go live on a farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. That works.
.