Confessions of a One-Track Mind

After waiting to hear back from The Beatle (I emailed her on Friday and haven't heard a peep back yet), I jumped the chain of command and left a polite but urgent email message for the gentleman who contacted me regarding my W9, Figured if he was handling that, he much have *something* to do with payroll.

Got a call back in under 15 minutes. He says a check was cut and mailed out on the 15th of March, but he's going to cut a new one and Fed Ex it out right away, so God willing, I will have it Thursdayish. It's late enough in the day today that I don't *really* expect it tomorrow, although I'd be awfully pleased if it was.

Meanwhile, with a little help from my friends, I have caffeine, toilet paper and sundry groceries, etc. I was down to my last roll of t.p., which was making me quite nervous! Did that bright and early this morning, courtesy of Mb, who had an 8:15 bone scan scheduled. thru_the_blinds, I let her sign the log-in sheet with my fabulous wooden pen, which she really liked. I may have to arrange a special Christmas present for her....

The scan took all of 10 minutes, then we hit Publix. I came home, worked til the mail carrier came through, then made that call when it was apparent that all I had was junk mail. (Well, a few coupons I might use, but mostly drek.)

Come to think of it, I still haven't had breakfast OR lunch. I think I'm going to go do something about that!

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I contacted The Boss Lady this morning bright and early...only to find that she's headed out to a seminar for the next few days and will arrange the team conference call "later". Argh, this is why I don't post about job hunting, because this kind of thing always seems to happen. (Sorry guys. Keep the champagne on ice.)

However, RG'sMom is so sure of my prospects that she's loaned me money to get a landline and DSL connection. I just got in from paying my deposit for that. (Plus a $2 fee the payment outlet clipped me for. Don't even get me started about how pissed I am at having what little cash money I have chiseled away by fees I can't seem to avoid.) Mind you, they can't actually come out and hook me up until a week from tomorrow. Gah!

Came outside and was at once put into a better mood by the sight of a great old truck parked out front, a lowered Chevy, circa 1955, in "red" primer. Mmm!

Also? There's now a tattoo shop two doors down from the payment station. ( If you're squeamish about tattoos, or worse, want to lecture me about why having tattoos is 'bad'---don't click this. Just don't. I don't want to squick the squeamish, and I *have* told opinionated busybodies to fuck off. Consider yourself warned. )

TTFN.

Had a very blonde incident today...Mb invited me to a car show in Kissimmee this evening, and I texted J to let her know that I wouldn't be over for cards...at least, I intended to. Somehow, I sent it to GK (They're the only people I text regularly), which I didn't realize until much later. Ooops. I let J know what happened, and she forgave me. No word back from GK, who's probably still wondering what I was babbling about.

The leg itch is still itching, despite me dosing it with the anti-itch cream which I *did* find. And I'm loath to apply Nair, although my shanks are getting shaggy. Which is a shame; while I was wandering around trying to decide what to wear to Old Town, I found a dress I misplaced a while ago...and it's finally cooled down enough that I can wear it. We'll see....

On the way out, I grabbed my mail. Electric bill: ARRGH! DO. NOT. WANT. Due 10/3, so at least I have time to figure something out. (Anybody need a kidney?) In much happier news, my renewed driver's license arrived, complete with the horrible pic they have from 75 pounds ago that makes me look like I should be slaughtering hogs in Iowa. I'm willing to forgive that, though, because the sucker doesn't expire until 2020---woohoo!!!

The next time Mb and I do the car show thing---and we will, because it's a weekly event at a smallish theme park called "Old Town"---we'll find a sitter for Jazz the Wonder Akita, who had trouble with all the noise, and we'll get there earlier. It was fun, though! I fell in love with quite a few vehicles, sigh!

And now off to bed; church tomorrow, and I don't want to miss the speaker.

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I went over to Mb's Wednesday afternoon and just got back. Am amazed I still have 'net, all the most so because BrightHouse left a pay-or-die tag on my door while I was gone, so I'm taking the opportunity to post while I can.

Sold some jewelery for enough to cover the car tag, although I am somewhat miffed. A charm bracelet I had high hopes for---confirmation present from my rich Aunt Ruth*---turned out to be silver-plated. Frackin worthless!

Had a good time with Mb, although I killed my left little toe on the side of a door frame, and am a mass of mosquito bites from the knees down on both legs. I hope I can find that Benedryl lotion!

We watched the Sons of Anarchyseason premiere together, and are in agreement that it's going to be a helluva ride!

J called me needing something printed. Told her where I was, and Mb oblieged her, although she says it'll cost J---she wants a landslide victory at canasta. (Yeah, good luck with that, I couldn't even win for my birthday!)

Thankfully, I made sure to wash all the dishes in the sink before I left, so fixing dinner won't be a chore. Talk atcha later, I hope....

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* No, really: Rich. She was the only one in the family who was well-heeled: House near a golf course, Franciscanware Dessert Rose china with completer pieces, tons of Hummels, and layers of hand-knotted rugs everywhere in the house. A few European vacations that I know of, and probably other stuff that didn't register on me as a child. Silver-plate? How tacky!

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I renewed my driver's license online last night. This is huge, because I had people telling me that I'd NEVER be able to do it online, that DMV is demanding a birth certificate, SS card, proof of residence, DNA, the whole meggelah, to prove that I'm a citizen.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that because I've been at the same address since I got my learner's permit in 1976, own said property, am a registered voter and have responded for jury duty that they've figured out that I *am* a citizen, how shocking.

Now I just have to get cash deposited to cover it. J, who uses the same bank I do, swears that weekend transactions don't post til midnite Monday, so as long as I get it in before two PM, I'm golden. (Still working on tag renewal, but that's marginally less urgent.

Yesterday was quiet, and that's okay. Mb will be here shortly to take me to lunch, Kay's Place barbecue, where I'm happily anticipating their Monday special of beef tips and gravy over noodles. Kat and I used to meet there for lunch four Mondays out of five, and I always had that and I miss it. Not as much as I miss Kat, but still....

I don't know how much longer before cable/internet provider will pull the plug, so if you don't hear back from me in a timely fashion,, you'll know why.

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Excellent news, my food stamp benefits were approved. Not only that, they loaded the benefits onto my old card, so that I could access them immediately---"immediately" being "I just got back from Aldis, and it sure felt good not to agonize about what else I should be spending it on". My biggest splurge was a box of PopTarts. (I talked myself out of baklava and chocolate eclairs and chocolate-dipped wafer cookies.) Got rice cakes as munchies. Bliss! I have missed snacky things.

A timely birthday gift is going to assuage my concerns about renewing my driver's license. I feel like I'm channeling Nic Cage in National Treasure: "I'd really love not to go to prison."... I still have to renew my tag, but that's marginally less urgent. Driving with an expired tag isn't nearly as serious as getting caught driving with an expired license.

An email this morning from Big Red informs me that she has to be out of town this weekend, but where would I like her to lunch me next weekend? Oooh, the possibilities! I've told her I'll get back to her with an answer next week, so I can see what all transpires this weekend---I know Mb has promised me lunch at a place I used to go to with Kat, but on the off-chance that J hauls me kicking and screaming to Olive Garden*, I want to keep my options open.

A box from GK is enroute via Priority mail...it might even make it by the weekend, which would be lovely.

Had an odd dream last night. I was going to marry I guy I didn't care about in the least, but I was incredably excited about the wedding and the ring, which had three emerald-cut diamonds on the band. Part of the time, my maid-of-honor was some girl I don't know IRL, in other scenes it was Mb, which is who I would choose IRL. And there was something about putting ice cubes in a big plastic bag so they wouldn't dilute the punch. Wtf? IDEK.

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* That was me being facetious, because I can happily eat myself stupid at OG. If I haven't had breakfast especially, I can slurp down three bowls of soup, NO problem.

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In some ways, it's nice to be home. I know where things are, for one. I'm not being pounced on by cats at 5AM. I have LJ, at least for now.

On the other hand, Mb is a great force for getting shit done. Last week, with her prompting, I applied for a new Social Security card, reapplied for food stamps (my benefits ran out during the Terrible Toe Debacle, and I hadn't gotten around to re-apping), renewed my Tracfone, sold my solid silver pre-1965 half-dollars for enough money to pay Allstate, and hocked two of my Dad's Gulf service pins to pay Geico.

I had enough "left over" to put $16 worth of gas in my tank, just over 4 gallons at current prices. I lost a chunk of tooth while consuming rice cakes and tuna, had one of my bedroom fans die, and tonight, my toilet is leaking around the base---and it doesn't seem to want to dispose of solid waste. I expect my cable/internet to be shut off by this time next week. *headdesk*

(Oh, and did I mention that by the end of this week, I'm supposed to renew both my car tags AND my driver's license?! I am SO screwed.)

However, thanks to Isaac, the humidity has been sucked away and it's been temperate. I actually dealt with my sinkful of dished at midday without melting down. That was shortly after a phone call from GK, whose fav thrift store was having a Labor Day half-off sale, and she wanted to know if I needed anything in particular. Yay, CARE package!

Anyway, that's what's up with me.

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The half-dollars took care of my car insurance payment with a smidge left over. Yay! Don't know what I'm going to do at the end of this month, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

I still have an $80 credit with the water department. Thank god, because it's so brutally hot that I'm in the shower constantly. As in, sometimes I get dizzy and have to go sit in there until my core temp goes down. And not even from exertion, today all it took was sitting up in bed.

Made a pan of Ghirardelli brownies last night, embellished with a cup of peanut butter chips. Yum! Haven't had much chocolate lately, so this was a treat. (When that's gone, I'm gonna make a pound cake from the mix GK sent me. Good thing I organized my baking pans, eh?)

Oh, and this afternoon, J had me calling a potential client about a dog. She made an appointment for next week, and J wants me to assist her. (Her usual person is under the weather, but I'll take what I can get, maybe it'll at least cover the cell phone bill for a while.)

I was going to babble about TV for a while, but just don't have te energy. But hey---at least it's finally August. The end *should* be in sight in the next 6-8 weeks.

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I was over on Tumblr reading Unfuck Your Habitat (http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/) and came across the following challenge: You’re avoiding something. It might be an invisible corner. It might be a box of crap you need to deal with. It might be your junk drawer. Whatever it is that you’ve been relieved that none of the challenges so far have made you deal with, that’s what you’re dealing with for the next 20 minutes. Don’t lie to yourself. You’re putting something off, but now you have to go deal with it.

And I knew exactly which drawer of crap it refered to: It was a dresser drawer---the rest of the dresser is long since gone---that's crammed with stuff sentimental, assorted WTFs and IDEKs, and it's been sitting on or near my dining room table for a very long time. (Enough that GK mentioned it while she was down and suggested I relocate it to the middle room til I got around to sorting thru it.

Okay, I thought. NOW is the time. I'll move the damned thing...except I could barely frackin LIFT it. To attempt to carry it to the middle room fully laden would've been to invite catastrophe. I'd either drop it, or the bottom would fall out.

Well then, I'd do a preliminary sift right there and then. Paperwork, blah, blah, blah, calculator, blah, blah, blah, ceramic boxes, blah, blah, blah...cylindrical wad of white printer paper,...?

Holy shit.

It was a roll of Kennedy half dollars. The paper they're wrapped in is dated 1999, so they've been sitting in that drawer for a long time. They're not sterling, alas, but even face value* is enough to cover my car insurance for this month, which I've been sweating bullets over. Plus there's a little over, which will top off my tank and maybe get a few things I'm out of. And for once, I don't mean caffeine!

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* Although I have a 2004 coin book that lists Kennedy half dollars between 1965-1970 as having an average value of $2 each. Now all I have to do is find someone who'll give me that!

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In a more uplifting vein than my last post, a few things have been going right:

The boil water alert has been lifted. Yay!

J drove me around to my bank and I got funds to pay FPL. Then she ran me over to WalMart (less than a mile down the road), which was amusing.

See, I haven't been to the store in more than a week, and was out of everything. There's a S'leven right next to the FPL pay station, but the prices are way better at WalMart. J was suspicious when I said I just needed a few things and would be out in 15 minutes. Her mom Susie was notorious for saying that and coming out two hours later with a train of shopping carts.*

I checked my phone for the time when I went in, and did some speed spending. The usual: caffeine, bread, cheese, eggs, lunch meat, munchies. And I was back at the car with my loot only to find her on the phone...where she remained for another 15 minutes, so I could've taken my time.

Battery situation: Called around and found I can get a reconditioned one with a 1-year warranty, $45. Given the age and general decrepitude of my car, that sounds much more suitable than a brand-new one for $85.

It's too hot to run around hooking up the charger and all that this afternoon. I'll do it first thing in the morning, to avoid heat stroke. Mb, God bless her, is going to follow me to the salvage yard in case I stall out. I figure I'll change out my old battery there for a minimum of back-and-forthing.

Afterward, I'll stop by the beauty supply place for hair color, go home, do my hair, and call GK. At least, that's the plan. In the last 24 hours or so, my mind has been havind a tug-of-war about going to the reunion at all. I know, I've been driving y'all crazy talking about it for the last six months, so WTF, Fluffy?!

Because, really, do I honestly think the great love of my life is going to swoop down and save me from all the crap in my life? Or even buy me dinner, which looks to be kinda pricey, according to their on-line menu.

Face it, my teeth are dreadful. My smile is more scary than seductive. When I say I'm hot, it's in the WRONG sense of the word. (I'm sure I'm going to explode into a sizzling pile of pork rinds any day now.) I'm terrible at small talk, and sometimes I don't even recognize flirtation. Yes, I can dress up, but I have the sick feeling that anything I do is going to look like I'm trying too hard.

It's a chance to hang out with GK and maybe see some people I haven't seen in umpteen years. Supposedly, one of the big cheeses is subsidizing everyone's bar tab. (Mind you, I'm a really cheap drunk, so not a huge incentive, but still....) That's how I need to think of it. IDK. I'll talk with GK tomorrow and see what she thinks.

Saturday, there is talk of seeing a movie. Which one will depend on whetheer the kids are off touring KSC. If they're not, "Brave" has been mentioned. Otherwise, GK and I are both enthused about "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". Frankly, I'd rather spend the $8 on a movie ticket than an over-priced hamberger at the reunion.

I'm just hoping the weather will be decent for the picnic tomorrow afternoon and to catch a swim in GK's hotel pool. I'm really looking forward to that!

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* That was right up there with her habit of telling someone on the phone, "I'm on my way out the door right now!", when in fact she was just getting ready to take a shower. I personally witnessed this on more than one occasion; the woman was constitutionally incapable of being on time for anything.

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I have until Thursday to get the FPL bill paid. Loaned money to J last week, thought I'd have it back this week, but no, so sorry, it'll be next week due to some computer glitch with her check. (Start juggling!)

That's only the tip of the iceberg of suckitude, though---

Headed down to my mailbox this afternoon only to find a "boil water" alert hanging from my door. I haven't set foot outside since I returned on Saturday, so god only knows how long it's been hanging there! Next stop, amoebic dysentery.

Got a notice about my driver's license renewal---if half the horror stories I hear about the process are true, it may take me til September to organize it all.

Got a summons for jury duty next month...which might be good for a few dollars, IF they actually need me. Last time, I had to check in by phone and never got the word to report.

Called GK to confirm various events for the coming weekend and found out that her grandmother, who is the closest thing to a grandparent I've ever had, passed away last night. She was 98, and while we thought she was going to make it to 100, it was not to be. I'll memorialize her in a separate post, but this definitely caps the list of things that make this a very bad, no good day.

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I love Mb, really I do. *And* her glorious a/c. I've even fallen for one of her tiny little adorable kittens, me, the NOT-a-cat-person. However, she has this bizarre notion that LJ made her former computer catch fire, so I am forbidden from accessing it on her current computer. (I'd use mine, but her wireless is fubar and she doesn't care about fixing it.) I've missed youse guys.

Tried Burger King's new bacon sundae, OMG, much nommynomnom! Salty-sweet fans, rejoice! Mb, who turned me on to salted caramel, says it would be better with more caramel and less hot fudge, which I agree would also be good. Either way, much yumminess!

Had canasta night at J's with Mb and J's BFF. Good times! Plus, J has wireless, so I got to catch up with some LJ, update my apps, the usual. OTOH, J has only extreme basic cable, while Mb has the full-on digital package. But they both have AIR.

GK will be here Thursday, woohoo. Friday is the memorial service for Bryan and the reunion. I need to go through my clothes and figure out what I want tailoring help with. Am probably going to drop out of the ovrnight trip to Savannah for money reasons. As much as I'd like to get away with GK, I don't have money for restaurant eating unless it's very fast food.

I discovered to my absolute horror that I inadvertantly paid FPL via a bank account that was closed last year. So while I was off at Mb's, blithely thinking everything was taken care of, it's not, and now they've tacked on yet another fee and I still have to pay it. I am SO fucked. *headdesk*

Time to dust off the resume again. I've got a few leads. Knock wood one of them will have me.

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My car now has brakes that actually stop in a timely manner. And a new fuel filter, which can't hurt. They're not the only things wrong with the beast (she says affectionately), but the mechanic and I both agree that It's not worth investing more money in it than I just did, and he's going to be keeping an eye out for an affordable replacement.

J and I have our eyes on an iPod to replace my missing one, although she hasn't given up on the other one reappearing. She's convinced one of her animals has squirrelled it away somewhere and it'll turn up during the post-holiday clean-up. We'll see. Meanwhile, we found one at a reasonable price, and will know tomorrow if it's mine.

Tomorrow Mb and I are running around. First thing on my To Do list is an eye exam. Have found a place that does them for $39, which is the best deal I've found. Then I'll take my scrip and see if I can find some glasses online for a low, low price.... I'm at the point where I'm gonna need readers as well as distance, and if I can find a really good deal, some sunglasses for summer driving would be 57 varieties of awesome. (I've never had prescription sunglasses, just made do with clip-ons. WANT.)

Related to that, we also plan to visit the cable company, get my past-due balance squared away and see if we can get my life back to normal with 'net and please god, cable. I love my friends and I'm grateful for their tolerance of my mooching during these months of media famine*, but I really want to be able to hibernate during the winter and not have to go chasing all over just to catch the latest WNTW or Justified. I want to listen to Christmas music the Seasonal Music channel before Christmas, or the Light Classical channel the rest of the time. I want BBC America dramas and Gordon Ramsey reruns, I want documentaries on Egypt with Dr. Zahi Hawass. I want to watch The Fabulous Beekman Boys and their goats, Storage Wars, Americal Pickers and Hoarders. I'm sorry, but a mere TWO network channels is NOT enough. Is it any wonder I've been coming unglued?**

So, brake job done, eye exam and cable pending, lunch and Sherlock Holmes with Big Red on Saturday and a haircut next Thursday, because that was the soonest our schedules meshed. Also next week, I start getting quotes for a new back fence, to keep the tresspassing trailer trash from schlepping through whenever they want to visit The Neighbors From Hell. Tra-fucking-la.

Okay, gotta go. The library is fixing to shut down.....

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* Hey, I even hooked Mb on Sons of Anarchy, go me!

** And aren't you glad I've kept my whining to myself? I've been trying VERY hard to stay upbeat and positive and cheerful, but there have been times when I considered opting out, because I was convinced that it just wasn't worth all the aggrevation.

I haven't mentioned it, because it's been an ongoing thing in the works for a while, but I've come into a bit of money. Not enough to live in luxury for the rest of my life, alas, or even enough to take me through next year---but enough to do a few vital things, like an eye exam for me and a brake job for my car and to pay the bills for a couple months, by which time hopefully we'll have a premises for dog training and will be making enough for me to have a regular salary.

A while back, I read an article by a guy who'd "found" money through his state's unclaimed property office. I did a little detective work and discovered my late brother had something sitting in New York state. Dug a bit more and found out it was a life insurance policy our folks took out in the 60s. I had to provide a lot of paperwork and bona fides, and I couldn't get anybody there to tell me how much it was going to be until I got an envelope from the insurance company.

Given their singularly unhelpful track record, I figured it was going to be along the lines of "We got your paperwork and we're thinking about what else we want from you, please stand by", but no! I unfolded it and about fell over. It was a check!

After months of not even being able to buy a magazine from the newstand or go out for a meal, I feel downright afluent, and I'm trying VERY HARD not to go wild and blow it. That would be BAD.

I know y'all have been thinking good thoughts for me, and I really, really appreciate that. I think this is the result; I've got a modest cushion for the first time in years. (Now let's just hope this good fortune spills over and the dogs are lucrative....)

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Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had a great breakfast, both in terms of quality and quantity. A pastrami and swiss cheese omelet...nom nom nom! (PJ left me his membership card for the local wholesale club, and they take food stamps. Got 2 lbs of pastrami for $6, score!) Ate myself into torpor, but it sure was yummy.

Took care of business, namely, I banked my earnings from the house-sitting gig---PJ is having his bank mail me a check every week, just like a "real" job. It was enough to pay insurance on the car and house, and I've got a whopping $12 left over. Mind you, FPL wants money, but it's not dire yet. (October, on the other hand---!)

Got to J's before 5, which is a bit on the early side...she said she was just about to go shopping (out of TP and cat food, both essentials), and she ended up taking us out for all-you-can-eat pasta at Olive Garden.

Now, IMO Olive Garden is as generic as Italian food gets. My sainted Aunt Mary was Italian and cooks the real thing, but OG delivers a consistant standard of what they do, which is edible if uninspired. That said, their new mushroom-parmesan-with-sun-dried-tomato sauce was orgasmic over penne pasta. It was like a very grown-up mac-and-cheese. The pizziola sauce (which I also had over penne), was also quite tasty. The server was a doll and kept me well caffeinated in addition to bringing me a third helping midway through my second and not giving me a hard time about bringing a box for most of them. (Some places are very snotty about carry-out boxes for AYCE means.)

We did speed shopping and made it back to J's just in time for Kitchen Nightmares. Our feature presentation was a documentary (borrowed from SI's library):Spooked: The Haunting of Waverly Hills Sanotorium. J inflicted An American Haunting onme last weekend, so I thought I'd return the favor.

Had the worst insomnia, 3AM at least...dragged myself out of bed at nine. I am determined NOT to fall back into the rut of sleeping til noon!

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Sometimes, upward mobility isn't all it's cracked up to be.

When, for instance, the lawn crew begins work at 7:45 right under your bedroom window.

I was going to say "being rich" as opposed to "upwardly mobile", but I suspect the Cs don't regard themselves as such.

What criteria do I use to proclaim upward mobility?

Okay, for starters, they have a home in a desirable neighborhood. If my house was the Taj Mahal, it would still be in a crap neighborhood.

When things break, they repair or replace them. Which sounds like a no-brainer, but if you've got zero savings or credit, easier said than done.

They have domestic help inside and out, a weekly or bi-weekly (as needed) cleaner in addition to the yard service.

They have automatic bill-pay on everything. I don't have it on anything, because my finances have *never* been that secure. One payment at the wrong time could topple the whole house of cards.

They buy new things. As in, lots of books and videos. I have yet to see a used bookstore stamp or a pawn shop sticker on any of them. I *have* run across a few 3-figure Barnes & Noble reciepts.

They both drive new cars. Not new as in "this model year", but as in "not previously owned".

They have savings, retirement accounts and credit. I have four bags of aluminum cans.

They win. I can't begin to comete. Not that it's a competition---keeping up with the neighbors is a mug's game---but I'm completely outclassed.


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If you found a wad of cash on the ground, would you keep it? Donate it? Take it to the police?

I would THANK GOD---after I'd tucked it into my purse and scurried off to pay bills. I regard unidentified cash as a gift from The Universe: Finders keepers.

Yes, I'd make a generous contribution to the offering plate come Sunday morning.

First, I'd pay bills and fill my gas tank. Depending on the size of the wad, I might even be able to get my phone/net/cable restored.

I'd stash a little away for a rainy day. Enough to see a movie or two, and to reciprocate toward some of the people who've helped me out.

I wouldn't commit a robbery to get cash, but if The Uni verse throws it at me, I'm not going to throw it back. Frankly, a fat roll of 20s, 50s and 100s would be welcome....

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