Confessions of a One-Track Mind

Not bad. The C's party was nice. When last I saw their kitchen, the countertops and backsplash hadn't been installed---it's palatial, now. *sigh* They're got new area rugs in the living and dining areas, and the sectional in the l.r. has been re-sectioned. Also very nice.

I gorged on de-koshered hot dogs, which are something I only get at this time of year. So yummy---but the next morning, whoa! All that grease went right through me. I ended up postponing seeing Django Unchained until Wednesday, because I didn't want to risk interruptions. It probably ended up being a less rowdy crowd than opening day would've been, so no complaints there. Opinions ahead, but no real spoilers for plot.)

Django Unchained was quite good*; for a (nearly) three-hour movie, it didn't feel "too long". Tarrantino has still got it; each major character has a chance to explain what they're about, and of course, it wouldn't be a Tarrantino movie without at least one spectacular bloodbath. (I didn't know there was that much cherry syrup in the human body....) Foxx and Walz both seemed to be having a good time as Django and King Schultz, respectively Plus, Leo looked like he was having a fine time chewing scenery. I think Samuel L. Jackson has it in his contract that he's required to say "motherfucker" a certain number of times. Leo and Sam were the "bad guys", and they were both utter pricks, cinematically speaking. If I didn't like them both, I'd hate them now, if that makes sense.

Things I didn't like...was a little shell-shocked at the prolific use of the n-word, which was probably the intent. Was disappointed that so much of the supporting cast was under-used. I know; supporting means just that---but if I hadn't known the name of his character going in, I'd've missed James Remar completely, and I'd really hoped for more Walton goggins, too. Still, there was a lot of "OMG, that's---!" among the bit players---guess Tarrantino can hand-pick his talent, which is great.

Wednesday evening, Mb and I got together to exchange gifts. She's been kvetching that "Nobody ever makes me a stocking!", so I did. (Two kinds of mints, chocolate bark and hard candy, a little sock monkey, an air freshner and some Angry Birds lip balm in a marked-down plush stocking.) She gave me a leopard-print shopping bag with some chocolates in an ornamental tin, a leopard-print Christmas ball ornament for my tree and an IOU for a bottle of whipped cream vodka.

I haven't seen J yet, nor has she contacted me. That's okay. I haven't baked a single pan of brownies, either. Big Red is busy with out of town guests, ditto GK, although the Xmas CARE package was in Denver yesterday.

This year, the best part of the holidays is the one that's usually disappointing: yuletide. I didn't sign up this year, because there were no offers of anything I *really* wanted to get (Damn it, I'm NOT going to write my own KIA Soul Hamstas fic!), but there was a letter requesting something in a fandom that's one of my passions. Said letter indicated that an idea I had would be welcome, so I wrote it. (As my beta, karaokegal can attest.)

Previously, I've written non-assigned stories from prompts, and invariably they ended up duking it out with other stories in the same category. Not this year! For once, I've got the fandom to myself. I have a modest stack of warm comments, including a truly effusive one from the Recipient, who's delighted with it. It already has more kudos than the next two highest-rated tales in my posted works put together, and, another first, it's shown up on two lists of recs. For me, that's practically a blockbuster!

I need to go through and do a rec post of my own; there are some lovely stories out there this year, in fandoms I never thought I'd see.

TTFN.




* And the trailer for A Good Day to Die Hard looks fantastic!

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Wow. I didn't sign up for NaNoWriMo this year (or Yuletide!), didn't even commit to MiniNaNo---but I've just added it all up, and I got a fairly formidible amount of writing done nonetheless. Like, about 20,000 words worth, which is about three times my combined output for the whole rest of this year!

A solid 4K of that was done this week, on a story that's probably going to be a Yuletide treat. I need to check a couple canon details for it, but otherwise, it's done. I added a few scraps to WIPs. (Someday, I'll finish my Jericho western!)

The rest of it is for a crossover AU, an esoteric slash pairing that so far more curtain fic than pr0n---IKR, since when do I write curtain fic?!...a good chunk of *that* is plotty meta, but there are also a cluster of ficlets, two longer installments (4,000 words exactly for one of them, all written on Thanksgiving Day!), and 900+ words on a WIP.

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say I'm completely unblocked, but the fact that I *am* writing at all feels wonderful. And considering how crazy the rest of my life has been making me, anything that eases the stress is a Very Good Thing.

I'll continue to try to write myself sane, and will keep in touch as much as circumstances allow. Not having internet at home well and truly sucks, but I'm very happy to have the lights on for the immediate future.

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This afternoon, J treated me to a performance of "The Wizard of Oz" at the local playhouse. It was absolutely spendous! The 12-year old who played Dorothy was brilliant---what a set of pipes!---the rest of the cast was also very, very good, and I was completely amazed by the projected backdrops and the f/x. It was a sold-out show, and with good reason! Wow. Definitely the highlight of my week!

I'm on the fence about doing yuletide. I haven't done much writing since LAST Yuletide, but I teld to write well to prompts. OTOH, The Kia Hamstas didn't get picked up as a nomination, and I don't know what else I want to read THAT much. I'll have to scan the list again....

I probably will do wish_list. Hey, there's nothing wrong with giving The Universe a heads-up!

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Maybe it's PMS, but that commercial with the guy with a backache in the airport really bugs the crap out of me. There are so many things that annoy me about it. For starters, people took aspirin as a painkiller for many, many years before it was linked to heart health. So his, "I'm not having a heart attack!" comment comes off as snide. And what are the odds that any sane medical professional is going to offer unsolicited advice to someone he's never seen before? Zip. Look at the malpracticce implications. Lots of people can't take aspirin, and if Mr Backache is one of them, well, litigation happens. And then there's the conflict of interest: Since Dr Nosy McHelpful and his team designed the "breakthrough" formula, it's awfully self-serving of him to whip it out and offer it to someone who, again, could have underlying medical issues he knows nothing about (allergies, drug interactions, etc.). And finally, microparticles? Show me that in a frackin' chemistry textbook, otherwise I'm gonna say it's an invented word your marketing department came up with to justify the gee-whiz advertising campaign. (This ad is in heavy rotation and I've seen it approximately sixteen times a day for the last several weeks. I am OVER it.)

Now, as far as ads go that I don't mind watching, I *love* those hip-hop hamsters bopping around in their Kia Soul. (These guys are into hip-hop, but their vehicle says "Soul"---maybe that's really an acronym for their names, St. John, Orlando, Umberto and Leery.) I swear, that's going to be one of my Yuletide requests. I want hamster adventures! Four hamsters cruising around in a van---ala Scooby-doo, ghost-busting, but without the dog. Or maybe the A-Team, kicking butt and righting wrongs. Maybe in their free time, they shoot hoops with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

They have distinct personalities, I'm sure. One of 'em is charming, another is hot-tempered, one's shy and the other is clueless. There's the self-proclaimed gadget guy whose contraptions are forever falling apart at the crucial moment, the faux-cool ladies man with a never-ending supply of corny pick-up lines, the scheming cheese-doodle addict, the athlete who may or may not trip over his own feet paws.

Although it looks stock, the Soul-mobile is tricked-out with more gizmos than the Mach-5. Maybe, like a TARDIS, it's bigger inside than it looks. (The backseat has room for a small gym, complete with hamster ball and Habitrail.) It converts into a submersible and/or a hovercraft. Or it's got an unconvential fuel source; coffee grounds, and they're always raiding Starbucks trash for refills? I personally am enamored with the concept of biodiesel---those Subway commercials about where the grease ends up by rights should go on to talk about what a great renewable resource it is. Depending on where the fuel originates, it could smell like fried chicken or bacon or spareribs and egg rolls. The hamster crew is always going to be stopping off to snag some run-off and take-away, which is one reason they're all so pear-shaped.

There's got to be a story about how they learned to drive---can you imagine the guy at the DMV when he found out he had to road-test a six-foot tall rodent?! For that matter, hamsters of size aren't exactly a stock item at your local pet store. Maybe little Ashley, genetic mad scientist wannabe, raised them for her fifth grade science project and they escaped. Now they're crusading against animal testing and their next stop is NIMH... or they might have a thing about zoos---although I think the Penguins of Madagasgar would give them a run for their money.

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Title: Candlewish
Fandom: The Catch Trap by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Authored by: vanillafluffy
Pairing/spoilers: N/A
Rating/Work-safeness: General, G, Green
Approximate word count: 5600
Disclaimer: All rights belong to Marion Zimmer Bradley, I'm just playing on her swingset.
Summary: Set five years after the conclusion of 'The Catch Trap'. Suzy is turning ten, and her family and friends have gathered to throw her a memorable party.
A/N: This is my yuletide contribution for Christmas 2010 for Kali. I was really thrilled when I got the assignment, because The Catch Trap is one of my favorite books ever. It's set in the 1940s and 50s, and it features a family of circus aerialists, and one of the most angsty, low-key slash pairings ever---although that isn't addressed here. It's just my little follow-up to where the book left everyone....

( It's a terrible thing to feel like a failure at nine years old.... )

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Alledgedly, the weather is going to warm up. Maybe it is, but since it's still only December, I'm willing to bet it isn't going to STAY warm. Which makes it all the more delightful that I've *finally* got a space heater in my office. It took some high finance, but it's done.

Here's what happened: Yesterday, after my lunch-and-browse, Mb asked me to come along to take care of bidness (which would be totally TL; DR), and while we were out and about, I told her about my new slacks and that Fashion Bug had a helluva good sale going on.

She was rather excited, since her folks gave her some money to buy a new special occasion outfit. So...I ended up at FB (with Mb) for the second time in four hours. We found her a very nice red and black dress with an all-over rose print.

This dress, in fact:



And, well, I tried on a few things to keep her company, and couldn't resist this dress,



It looks even more spectacular on me than on the model---*I* have real curves---and any dress that gives me a drop-dead figure for under $20 is worth it IMO. Although it was a trade-off---GK offered me $20 so I could go see TRON Legacy---but movies come and go; a good dress is the better investment.

Pleasantly enough, I don't need shoes to go with it; I have multiple pairs that will work, and it will also accessorize nicely with the "European" cloche. Heh heh. That hat has definitely earned its keep!

We went from there to Target. My primary objective was some fingerless gloves that I could type in---Mb has a pair from there that I noted and envied. Found a pair in red, and as we were checking out, I thought to ask the cashier if they had space heaters, and they did. Oh happy day!

I limped back and got one---limped, because it was a rather long day of trekking and shopping---and snagged a happy little ceramic heater the size of a toaster, just the right size for the office. Here's where the high finance comes in, because GK subsidized a heater purchase a couple weeks ago...except WalMart was (and still is) out of space heaters AND electric blankets, so I ended up with a small electric throw. Which was NOT what I wanted; I left it in the packaging and glared at it for its lack. Today, I took it back to WalMart (having prudently retained the receipt), got the money back, and deposited it to make up for the cost of the Target heater. (And the $20 for the dress. Worth it. Totally worth it.)

Now I don't NEED gloves to type in, but I have them, just in case.

Tomorrow, I'm heading over to J's, planning to wash my hair*, cook her lunch as a thank you, and watch "Desperado", since I've discovered she's a Banderas fan and I like to corrupt my friends when I can.

Somebody on my f'list has commented on my Yuletide fic. Nobody has recced it yet that I've seen, but it IS getting noticed.

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* Just because it's tolerably warm in here doesn't mean it's warm enough that I want to sit around with wet hair. I can't afford to have pneumonia!

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Had a very nice time at B & A's...dinner was a ham, accompanied by mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole and herbed rolls. Simple, but oh-so-yummy!

No ponies occured during the gift exchange, but I'm still very pleased. B & Mb put their heads together, and I ended up with variations on a theme. Instead of a gift bag, I got a Ghirardelli tote bag in brown and gold, containing the leopard-print slipper-booties I saw Mb get the other night, a mock-mink and leopard throw (mostly chocolate brown, and decadently soft), a chocolate truffle-scented Yankee candle (Never mind burning it, just hand me a spoon!) and four bars of Ghirardelli: orange, raspberry (both dark), and Limited Edition Pecan Pie.

Only down-side to the evening: I was the only non-smoker in the house, and I came home reeking. Came in and couldn't stand the smell of myself; showered and washed my hair, and returned to my desk, where I've spent the last two hours refreshing yuletide to no avail.

Nuts. I'm going to bed. Hopefully it'll be up by morning.

Merry Christmas, everyone!



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Got my Yuletide fic posted with hours to spare, go me! This proved to be a good thing, since Mb ended up kidnapping me to go drive around and look at the holiday displays in a couple McMansion subdivisions in Rockledge. (On the way, we stopped at a S'leven and I snagged the new Vanity Fair with Johnny Depp, because he's such eye candy.)

After our meanderings, she treated me to nosh at Applebee's---may I heartily recommend their wonton tacos? OMG, nomnomnom! Pork or chicken, either one...Mb thought they were a bit spicy, but I could have single-handedly gone through about four orders of them.

Then we cruised the nearby WalMart. I got a little gift for her SO (and I now know what I'm going to give her, but it's not a W*M thing), found out that that store is also out of space heaters, and looked the other way as Mb bought something I'd been lusting over. ("I see nussing!") Got enough bathroom tissue to last me into February. Discovered BC's middle child is working at that store on checkout. Small freakin' world, eh? Or at least, small freakin' town.

Came home, watched some of the eclipse. Too darn cold to stand there in my front yard THAT long, though. ("Yes, there's a shadow covering the full moon on the Solstice. Awesome. I'm going inside to thaw now....")

At this point, I have Christmas Eve scheduled to exchange gifts with Mb, then a get-together the afternoon/evening of Christmas Day (with a probable stop at J's for gift exchange either to or fro). Her gift arrived today, and it's in better condition that I expect for "slightly worn"---the dust jacket is still intact, which is a modest miracle unto itself, IMO.

Also, I was completely surprised and delighted by a treat on my f'list:. I got a story in response to a prompt ("John’s storage unit fascinates me...Sam and/or Dean go there for some reason and find something unexpected.") that I requested for an exchange last summer. It's mostly John, and NOT a-hole!John.

Cool Yule, y'all.

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It's finally finished. ("It" being my assignment for yuletide.) I like it, I just hope my recipient feels the same. It wasn't *exactly* her prompt, but it was as close as the Muse would cooperate. Now I have 20 hours to tweak it and get it betaed.

Hey, at least I'm not writing til the 11th hour!

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Did a Google image search for "OH SHIT BEARS" and had to post this result:




You just KNOW there's a story there!

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Thankfully, my icon does NOT represtent the current conditions hereabouts. We've thawed out today. It's warm enough that I have a 3/4 sleeve jacket* on over a sleeveless dress, and I'm perfectly comfortable. All the more so because I visited with J this afternoon.

I availed myself of her wonderful facilities: I covet her bathroom,, I really do. It's about 8'x 8', wheelchair accessable, and oh, that shower! It's spacious, has fabulous water pressure, the shower-head is adjustable for height AND removable to be hand-held---bliss! I scrubbed thoroughly, LUSHed my hair (twice for good measure!) and feel sooo much better.

Afterward, while my hair dried, we watched my seasonal cinematic offering: I took "Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage" and inflicted it upon her. Of course, I was snuffling by the end, and she was muttering, "I will not cry, I will not cry." but she *was* rather choked up.

Now my Yuletide countdown clock says "OH SHIT BEARS", which is kind of how I feel about it at the moment. Gotta go!

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* Speaking of jackets, while I was layering this afternoon, I tried on one of my all-time favorite jackets, kind of a tapestry paisley...it's miles too big. It overlapped by about six inches where it's supposed to close. Label says size 30/32...I may still be 30ish on the bottom, but these days, I'm more like a 26 in tops. Woohoo!

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I ordered J's gift from Amazon---she told me a while back that she wants a copy of "The Joy of Cooking" that isn't falling apart, and she doesn't mind it used---so I found her a slightly used hardcover copy for a penny, then popped $6.99 for expedited shipping. I'm going to give it to her with some tea, which she also specifically mentioned, and cookies. So she can have a nice cuppa and a nibble and decide what she'd going to cook. *smirk* (She knows nothing about LJ, so I'm safe enough discussing it here. SBJB is our only mutual friend who's liable to see this, and I'm confident she won't blab.)

Have also been slogging away at Yuletide. It's one thing to be intimately familiar with canon, another thing to try to extrapolate it sympathetically. My issue is, the source material has a Very Large Cast, and I'm trying to touch base with the old familiars without overwhelming readers who may not have the first foggy clue---assuming there are any. And, of course, give my recipient something that resembles what she's hoping for.

Finished reading "The Baker Street Letters" (Michael Robertson), which I found disappointing. The premise: A barrister who's renting 221B Baker Street sets his screw-up brother in charge of answering the letters that arrive for Sherlock Holmes. Brother hares off to L.A. in response to one letter, and gets embroiled in a murder. Despite the allusions to Sherlock, there's no deductive reasoning involved at all, and the plot isn't a mystery to anyone who's ever watched TV or for that matter, read any mystery novel more complex than Nancy Drew. Thank goodness it's a library book and therefore cost me nothing but time.

Have started "A Nose for Justice" (Rita Mae Brown), featuring a Dachshund and a German shephard in the middle of a mystery set in Nevada. So far, the dogs are more interesting than the people...I've liked RMB in the past, although more for her novels than her mysteries. I'm still on the fence about this one. Remember: Show, don't tell.

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Hello, and Season's Greetings, O Yuletide Author!

Welcome to the letter where I babble about my four chosen fandoms and reassure you that your labors will be appreciated.

First of all, Secondhand Lions. Forgive my typo in the AO3 request --- I have *NO* problem at all with "as told to Walter"! Although to be perfectly honest, what I really want are the travels of Young Hub, because Christian Kane swordfighting in tight pants?! If you produce something in this vein, I will spend Christmas morning swooning with delight. (I like Garth, too, but I'm honest about shallow I am.) I've wondered how they got all that gold back to Texas from Sheikistan. (I'm pretty sure they never actually named the kingdom.) Maybe there were pirates? There's a forty-year gap between the post-WWI era and Walter's boyhood reminiscences---that's plenty of room for adventures.

"The Flight of the Doves" by Walter Macken, is one of my favorite childhood books. (It was made into a VERY bad musical in the '70s--- PLEASE ignore that.) I'm curious about Finn and Derval's new life in Ireland. After the hoohah settles down, what happens? How do they get along with the local kids? Looking back years later, how much does Derval remember? Do they ever meet up with Moses again? (I loved Moses, even though his dad Powder was a jerk.) Maybe the tinkers camp on Granny's land? Does the money change their lives? Anything true to the tone of the book would be lovely.

I am an obsessive What Not to Wear junkie. An actual plot beyond the format of the show would be fabulous. I see Stacy and Clinton as Nick and Nora Charles-types (The Thin Man movie series, if you're unfamiliar with the reference). They've got the banter down to an art, why not solve a crime or two on the side? Something glamorous with high fashion and paparazzi? (Or, I'll volunteer to be the fashion victim---okay, so *some* of my skirts are a bit too long. And a few of my pants might be a little on the short side. And I don't own a single pair of pointy-toed shoes. So what? My hats are fabulous! There are plenty of pix in my LJ for reference, if you go that route. I've even got a "clothes" tag.)

Finally, "Justified" --- I would LOVE something inspired by this picture:

I want some jailhouse cock, namely, Prison!Boyd making somebody his bitch. Bonus points if there's a shower scene. Not necessarily non-con---Boyd's powers of persuasion are awesome---and it doesn't have to be blood-curdlingly explicit, either. (You may have noticed, this is my only request for anything adult.) If that squicks you, Boyd fast-talking will do, EXCEPT for the white supremacist schtick---him preachifying is fine, as long as he's clearly got an agenda of his own.

The ideas I've suggested are just to spark your creativity in case you're experiencing that sensation of "OMG, what have I gotten myself into?!", which I'm probably going through myself right about now. Really, you loved one (or more!) of these fandoms enough to offer it, so we've already got that in common.

On the whole, I like happy endings, not tragedies, action movies with car chases, explosions, fight scenes, and repartee. I cry at Hallmark commercials, and I tend to respect canon and characters being in character.

Happy writing, and have a Cool Yule!

Vanillafluffy


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If you're in need of a laugh, may I recommend the RPF lists at yuletide?! If you know ANYTHING about history, anything at all, you will laugh your ass off.

Hint: Elizabeth Bathory was NOT Canadian. Last I heard, neither was Butch Cassidy. Srsly.

ETA: Clive Cussler under German literature? Neither German, nor IMO, literature. OMG, ditto Herman Melville, German lit? Lord Byron? Absurd.

And I'll bet you didn't know Isaac Newton was a historical American criminal, either.

Look at the list under RPF - Modern Physics. Crack, I tell you!

Dean Koontz as a WWI poet? Where will it end?! My brain is bleeding!

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yuletide is pending. It's time to nominate fandoms and scan long lists and angst about "Do I want a story for X? X & Y? Or Y & Z?" Oh, decisions, decisions! Although I noticed, happily, that between the time I was looking at the oh-so-long list last night and this afternoon, "Secondhand Lions" magically appeared. That's a definite I want, because srsly, Christian Kane swordfighting in tight pants? Hellz yeah! And there's a lot of unaccounted for time between their early adventures and the time the rest of the movie is set. So that was my number one nom.

"Justified" was the second thing I pounced on --- I will probably offer it as well --- because of this picture:

I want some jailhouse cock, namely, Boyd making somebody his bitch. Bonus points if there's a shower scene. Hey, it's not necessarily outright non-con---Boyd's powers of persuasion are awesome.

Proving that FX has the coolest shows, I nommed "Sons of Anarchy", although anyone who gets my request may want to throw me under a bus: I want Piney. I've had A Thing for William Lucking since 1975 or so. Pre-series backstory, with Gemma, because Katey Segal rocks. Clay is okay too, and...whoever Jax's daddy was. (Hey, I just started watching this season, I don't have all the details sorted out yet, but Tuesdays are my bliss night.)

I'm asking for two books: Lisa Mason's "Summer of Love", which is the story of a time-traveler who goes to 1967 San Francisco to save the future. It's among my top ten favorite books of all time; it's mind-blowing. The other is a lesser-known juvenile book, "The Flight of the Doves" by Walter Macken. (It was made into a VERY bad musical in the '70s---ignore that.) An orphaned brother and sister run away from their nasty stepfather in England to get to their Irish grandmother. Adventures ensue: they travel with gypsies, hitch rides and are pursued by a sinister man in a pink car. The ending makes me cry every damn time.

And finally, I asked for an RPF fandom: What Not to Wear. Maybe Stacy and Clinton are detectives on the side, ala Nick and Nora Charles. Something that got tossed had a valuable brooch pinned to it, and now they have to locate it. I'll volunteer to be the fashion victim---okay, so *some* of my skirts are a bit too long. And a few of my pants might be a little on the short side. And I don't own a single pair of pointy-toed shoes. So what? My hats are fabulous!

Going over the list, it was hard to distinguish, sometimes between "I want to read fic for X" and "I'd rather write for fandom X". Sometimes I had to stop and ask myself what was triggering my enthusiasm. There were quite a few fandoms that I'd like to see more fiction for, but because I feel so attached to them, I'd rather volunteer to write them---because I know I won't commit atrocities against canon.

Some were a case of, yes, that needs more fiction, but not from me, because I've already written it extensively (Once Upon a Time in Mexico being a shining example), or have written what I consider to be a definitive story for it. Although a lot of my best stories have come from prompts....


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Pimp post is here: http://community.livejournal.com/yuletide/845186.html

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Title: Juan Valdez, the Radical Priest and Me
Authored by: vanillafluffy
Pairing/spoilers: Only if you haven't heard the song "Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard" by Paul Simon
Rating/Work-safeness: PG-13/Green
Approximate word count: 4200
Disclaimer: All rights belong to Paul Simon, unless there's a record company involved. Whatever. I'm not maing any money from it!
Betaed by: karaokegal
Summary: Paul Simon didn't know the whole story, he just wanted a catchy tune. Here's the non-canon version of what Mama and Papa raised such a fuss about, why the priest was so "radical", and how they wound up on the cover of Newsweek. Includes appearences by sundry members of the legal and law-enforcement professions, a few of the radical priest's less savory bretheren and of course, Rosie, the Queen of Corona.

( Everybody in Corona knew about Javier the priest---he was the first Cruz ever to go to college. He'd gone through law school, and then, after he'd graduated and everybody thought he was gonna start making a zillion dollars the way lawyers do---he went and entered a seminary to become a priest. )


Father Javier

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