Confessions of a One-Track Mind

Got a modest loan from GK and got some generic Claratin (recommended by the pharmacist), a tube of hydrocortisone lotion, and a bottle of Listerine (recommended as an itch-fighter by AI), and AI was right, it smells a bit medicinal, but I'm definitely less itchy.

I ended up wearing the black pants GK sent me, with an orange top under the print jacket I posted a pic of last week. Ended up taking the jacket off---it's still a little too warm for that. I got told how terrific I'm looking by Ranger'sGrrl, to which I modestly said "Thank you". Really? Wasn't feeling it---that wasn't my definition of all dressed up---but it's still good to hear.

I'm gleed to see a couple new KIA Soul hamsta commercials are running. The "Night at the Opera" is...interesting, and the neon-light-space-hamstas really makes me grin like a fiend, since I proposed Soul-as-TARDIS ages ago. Although, there are definitely just three of them. so I think insteead of St. John, Orlando, Umberto and Leery, they're Kevin, Ivan and Arlo.... If I thought I'd be doing Yuletide, that's definitely something I'd be requesting.

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The more I see this commercial,



the more I want to try his gauchpazo and that organic mushroom risotto. He's a badass AND he cooks? Be still, my heart!

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Maybe it's PMS, but that commercial with the guy with a backache in the airport really bugs the crap out of me. There are so many things that annoy me about it. For starters, people took aspirin as a painkiller for many, many years before it was linked to heart health. So his, "I'm not having a heart attack!" comment comes off as snide. And what are the odds that any sane medical professional is going to offer unsolicited advice to someone he's never seen before? Zip. Look at the malpracticce implications. Lots of people can't take aspirin, and if Mr Backache is one of them, well, litigation happens. And then there's the conflict of interest: Since Dr Nosy McHelpful and his team designed the "breakthrough" formula, it's awfully self-serving of him to whip it out and offer it to someone who, again, could have underlying medical issues he knows nothing about (allergies, drug interactions, etc.). And finally, microparticles? Show me that in a frackin' chemistry textbook, otherwise I'm gonna say it's an invented word your marketing department came up with to justify the gee-whiz advertising campaign. (This ad is in heavy rotation and I've seen it approximately sixteen times a day for the last several weeks. I am OVER it.)

Now, as far as ads go that I don't mind watching, I *love* those hip-hop hamsters bopping around in their Kia Soul. (These guys are into hip-hop, but their vehicle says "Soul"---maybe that's really an acronym for their names, St. John, Orlando, Umberto and Leery.) I swear, that's going to be one of my Yuletide requests. I want hamster adventures! Four hamsters cruising around in a van---ala Scooby-doo, ghost-busting, but without the dog. Or maybe the A-Team, kicking butt and righting wrongs. Maybe in their free time, they shoot hoops with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

They have distinct personalities, I'm sure. One of 'em is charming, another is hot-tempered, one's shy and the other is clueless. There's the self-proclaimed gadget guy whose contraptions are forever falling apart at the crucial moment, the faux-cool ladies man with a never-ending supply of corny pick-up lines, the scheming cheese-doodle addict, the athlete who may or may not trip over his own feet paws.

Although it looks stock, the Soul-mobile is tricked-out with more gizmos than the Mach-5. Maybe, like a TARDIS, it's bigger inside than it looks. (The backseat has room for a small gym, complete with hamster ball and Habitrail.) It converts into a submersible and/or a hovercraft. Or it's got an unconvential fuel source; coffee grounds, and they're always raiding Starbucks trash for refills? I personally am enamored with the concept of biodiesel---those Subway commercials about where the grease ends up by rights should go on to talk about what a great renewable resource it is. Depending on where the fuel originates, it could smell like fried chicken or bacon or spareribs and egg rolls. The hamster crew is always going to be stopping off to snag some run-off and take-away, which is one reason they're all so pear-shaped.

There's got to be a story about how they learned to drive---can you imagine the guy at the DMV when he found out he had to road-test a six-foot tall rodent?! For that matter, hamsters of size aren't exactly a stock item at your local pet store. Maybe little Ashley, genetic mad scientist wannabe, raised them for her fifth grade science project and they escaped. Now they're crusading against animal testing and their next stop is NIMH... or they might have a thing about zoos---although I think the Penguins of Madagasgar would give them a run for their money.

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What does it say about my subconscious that for the last several mornings, I've awakened with the chorus to the Beatles "Just Another Day" crooning in my ear? (So sad, so sad...sometimes she feels so sad....) Then, when my day gets going, it's replaced by the melody from that maudlin Barillo picolini bowtie pasta commercial. Go figure.

Just a few thoughts on commercials I've seen lately:

Paper towels---the one where the father and son stand around debating how many sheets while the spill spreads toward the new-looking carpet. Grab a dish towel, dickheads, and clean it up before Mama kicks your lazy asses.

The Beatles are being used to sell diapers. On the one hand, it's good that their music is reaching a new generation. But the message? I'd LUV to know what John, Paul, George and Ringo would think about that!

I wonder if the bloodhound in the granola commercials is the same one from the kitty litter ads. Love the scheming granola pooch especially---he makes me think of Bobby reincarnating with four legs....

The spooky Verizon ads are also fun---the "dead zones" in the old house and the laundry room. Crab grass, hee! The terrors of suburbia!

I don't remember WHICH car I'm supposed to be buying, but I have "Godzilla" as an earworm....

Church was good today--Suzanne the Psychic was our speaker (She's never given me anything accurate, but a lot of our members swear by her.), and Lady J was there--I adore her, she's one of the warmest people I know. She and Iryne both oohed and ahhed over my "show and tell" projects...AI thought the kyanite in copper was a terrific way to display it safely, and Lady J told me I must keep it, it's a power piece. The wearable vase was another hit...R said I ought to put a crystal in it, which is an interesting idea.

Stayed after church and schmoozed with R for a bit...played a few rounds of "My job's suckier than yours." (I'm not sure who won--she gets paid better, but I haven't quite as many back-stabbing @$$holes to contend with.) She also bought the rhodochrosite pendant I crocheted--$20!--that means I not having to tap savings for gas and groceries.

Came home and got the area in front of the TV cleared, with enough room that I could actually access the shelves on the left side of the entertainment unit*. Put away lots of DVDs. Not organized--I've been known to alphabetize them--yes, I'm one of *those*.

( *Like you care about my entertainment unit! )

Was underwhelmed by the Super Bowl itself, although the half-time show rocked! It wasn't the game I was hoping to see. I strenuously disagreed with several of the calls, but what can you do?! Loved both the Clydesdale ads, the Burger King/Busby Berkley/Chicago number, and the Nationwide fake-out ad with Fabio. (OMG, is he still around?!) The Dr. Seuss thing at the beginning was seriously scary--gawd, Harrison, is that what happens when you shack up with a woman easily young enough to be your daughter?! I spent the next hour expecting the announcers to start narrating in verse: "See Jurevicus catch the pass--he caught it then he hit the grass--Now they'll try to run around...and go ten yards for a first down." Like I said: scary!