![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vanillafluffyYesterday at church, I don't remember how we got onto the subject, but I told someone that I really hate being bombarded with the question, "Why?". As in, "Why is your house such a mess?" "Why don't you lose some weight?" Whywhywhywhywhy---? (GK, who is very analytical, does this all the time.)
She agreed with me. The person who asks may have the best intentions in the world, but somehow, it always seems to come off as critical. It's like being poked with a stick. Either I get defensive, or my self-esteem takes another hit.
Sometimes the defensiveness is because the answer doesn't reflect well on me, or it's flat-out embarassing. Why does your house smell? Because I put off taking out the trash, the bag was only half full. Why didn't you go out for that job I told you about? Because I can't physically do it, I can't stand for long periods. Why do you whine so much? Because mama never told me there'd be days like this: She never said I'd wake up at fifty alone, broke and living in the hood.
*sigh*
.
She agreed with me. The person who asks may have the best intentions in the world, but somehow, it always seems to come off as critical. It's like being poked with a stick. Either I get defensive, or my self-esteem takes another hit.
Sometimes the defensiveness is because the answer doesn't reflect well on me, or it's flat-out embarassing. Why does your house smell? Because I put off taking out the trash, the bag was only half full. Why didn't you go out for that job I told you about? Because I can't physically do it, I can't stand for long periods. Why do you whine so much? Because mama never told me there'd be days like this: She never said I'd wake up at fifty alone, broke and living in the hood.
*sigh*
.