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But *you* can call me "Fluffy"....
Dec. 22nd, 2006 09:35 am | My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Venerable Lady Vanillafluffy the Woebegone of Divine Intervention Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
Dec. 22nd, 2006
But *you* can call me "Fluffy"....
Dec. 22nd, 2006 09:35 am | My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Venerable Lady Vanillafluffy the Woebegone of Divine Intervention Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
And the answer is...
Dec. 22nd, 2006 11:50 amNo.
No, I'm sorry, your order will not arrive at its destination on or before December 25th. In order for it to get there that quickly, you would have had to a) buy it two weeks ago or b) pay for overnight shipping, which would have been an additional $25,you cheap twit. No, there is not a damn thing I can do to get it shipped any faster, you're shit out of luck, deal with it.
Period.
This is all said in a calm, regretful tone, while I roll my eyes, and sometimes when they're particularly bitchy, I hang up and snicker. (Oh, my poor kharma!)
Today, I will add to my repertorie:
I talked to a very nice UPS guy while I was at Wal*Mart today, and he says they *will* be delivering on Saturday. They don't want to come in to a lot of extra work on Tuesday morning either.And no, dumbass, I do *not* know the phone number of the FedEx depot in Your Town, MI**.
Actually, it hasn't been as bad as I was led to expect, although there's still tonight and tomorrow to get through, and I suspect that the fallout next week will be fairly spectacular---but right now, it's all good. I went shopping, dropped $100 on groceries and quasi necessities, and I'm in a simply stonking mood. I have new leopard print flats, because I *had* to have them, Energizer AA Titanium batteries, and yummy eats like gourmet bagels and baklava. I can't remember the last time I had baklava, so it's obviously been too long. And I was *good*---I made myself choose between the baklava and the butter cookies: both would have been too-too. So I'm set. I won't have to detour on the way home tonight or tomorrow, and risk another blasted checkpoint.
It's all good.
--------------
** Last night, I swear to God, someone asked me that. Ask Santa to bring you a phone book, bozo.
No, I'm sorry, your order will not arrive at its destination on or before December 25th. In order for it to get there that quickly, you would have had to a) buy it two weeks ago or b) pay for overnight shipping, which would have been an additional $25,
Period.
This is all said in a calm, regretful tone, while I roll my eyes, and sometimes when they're particularly bitchy, I hang up and snicker. (Oh, my poor kharma!)
Today, I will add to my repertorie:
I talked to a very nice UPS guy while I was at Wal*Mart today, and he says they *will* be delivering on Saturday. They don't want to come in to a lot of extra work on Tuesday morning either.
Actually, it hasn't been as bad as I was led to expect, although there's still tonight and tomorrow to get through, and I suspect that the fallout next week will be fairly spectacular---but right now, it's all good. I went shopping, dropped $100 on groceries and quasi necessities, and I'm in a simply stonking mood. I have new leopard print flats, because I *had* to have them, Energizer AA Titanium batteries, and yummy eats like gourmet bagels and baklava. I can't remember the last time I had baklava, so it's obviously been too long. And I was *good*---I made myself choose between the baklava and the butter cookies: both would have been too-too. So I'm set. I won't have to detour on the way home tonight or tomorrow, and risk another blasted checkpoint.
It's all good.
--------------
** Last night, I swear to God, someone asked me that. Ask Santa to bring you a phone book, bozo.
And the answer is...
Dec. 22nd, 2006 11:50 amNo.
No, I'm sorry, your order will not arrive at its destination on or before December 25th. In order for it to get there that quickly, you would have had to a) buy it two weeks ago or b) pay for overnight shipping, which would have been an additional $25,you cheap twit. No, there is not a damn thing I can do to get it shipped any faster, you're shit out of luck, deal with it.
Period.
This is all said in a calm, regretful tone, while I roll my eyes, and sometimes when they're particularly bitchy, I hang up and snicker. (Oh, my poor kharma!)
Today, I will add to my repertorie:
I talked to a very nice UPS guy while I was at Wal*Mart today, and he says they *will* be delivering on Saturday. They don't want to come in to a lot of extra work on Tuesday morning either.And no, dumbass, I do *not* know the phone number of the FedEx depot in Your Town, MI**.
Actually, it hasn't been as bad as I was led to expect, although there's still tonight and tomorrow to get through, and I suspect that the fallout next week will be fairly spectacular---but right now, it's all good. I went shopping, dropped $100 on groceries and quasi necessities, and I'm in a simply stonking mood. I have new leopard print flats, because I *had* to have them, Energizer AA Titanium batteries, and yummy eats like gourmet bagels and baklava. I can't remember the last time I had baklava, so it's obviously been too long. And I was *good*---I made myself choose between the baklava and the butter cookies: both would have been too-too. So I'm set. I won't have to detour on the way home tonight or tomorrow, and risk another blasted checkpoint.
It's all good.
--------------
** Last night, I swear to God, someone asked me that. Ask Santa to bring you a phone book, bozo.
No, I'm sorry, your order will not arrive at its destination on or before December 25th. In order for it to get there that quickly, you would have had to a) buy it two weeks ago or b) pay for overnight shipping, which would have been an additional $25,
Period.
This is all said in a calm, regretful tone, while I roll my eyes, and sometimes when they're particularly bitchy, I hang up and snicker. (Oh, my poor kharma!)
Today, I will add to my repertorie:
I talked to a very nice UPS guy while I was at Wal*Mart today, and he says they *will* be delivering on Saturday. They don't want to come in to a lot of extra work on Tuesday morning either.
Actually, it hasn't been as bad as I was led to expect, although there's still tonight and tomorrow to get through, and I suspect that the fallout next week will be fairly spectacular---but right now, it's all good. I went shopping, dropped $100 on groceries and quasi necessities, and I'm in a simply stonking mood. I have new leopard print flats, because I *had* to have them, Energizer AA Titanium batteries, and yummy eats like gourmet bagels and baklava. I can't remember the last time I had baklava, so it's obviously been too long. And I was *good*---I made myself choose between the baklava and the butter cookies: both would have been too-too. So I'm set. I won't have to detour on the way home tonight or tomorrow, and risk another blasted checkpoint.
It's all good.
--------------
** Last night, I swear to God, someone asked me that. Ask Santa to bring you a phone book, bozo.
Christmas fic
Dec. 22nd, 2006 01:11 pmOkay, tis the season for reruns...kinda like watching A Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the fifteenth time, or the networks rerunning eps of shows from October.
Anyway, here's some seasonal fiction posted in years gone by:
( This was originally a challenge for Yuletide New Year's Resolutions 2005, to feature Ranger and Grandma Mazur from the Stephanie Plum series, subject, friendship. Set before 'Visions of Sugar Plums', if you're keeping track. They belong to the inventive Ms. Janet Evanovich; I don't own any of them. )
*******
Anyway, here's some seasonal fiction posted in years gone by:
( This was originally a challenge for Yuletide New Year's Resolutions 2005, to feature Ranger and Grandma Mazur from the Stephanie Plum series, subject, friendship. Set before 'Visions of Sugar Plums', if you're keeping track. They belong to the inventive Ms. Janet Evanovich; I don't own any of them. )Christmas fic
Dec. 22nd, 2006 01:11 pmOkay, tis the season for reruns...kinda like watching A Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the fifteenth time, or the networks rerunning eps of shows from October.
Anyway, here's some seasonal fiction posted in years gone by:
( This was originally a challenge for Yuletide New Year's Resolutions 2005, to feature Ranger and Grandma Mazur from the Stephanie Plum series, subject, friendship. Set before 'Visions of Sugar Plums', if you're keeping track. They belong to the inventive Ms. Janet Evanovich; I don't own any of them. )
*******
Anyway, here's some seasonal fiction posted in years gone by:
( This was originally a challenge for Yuletide New Year's Resolutions 2005, to feature Ranger and Grandma Mazur from the Stephanie Plum series, subject, friendship. Set before 'Visions of Sugar Plums', if you're keeping track. They belong to the inventive Ms. Janet Evanovich; I don't own any of them. )
