Am I getting cynical?

[vanillafluffy]

Here's what happened. I was leaving Aldi's with some necessities (meatballs, crackers and trail mix), when a guy on a bicycle rolled up to me. He was good-looking in a gone-to-seed Eric Roberts kind of way (Is that redundant?), and he said, "I'm a cancer patient, and I need $2 so I can pick up my prescription."

Okay, cancer patient was a trigger, needless to say, and I almost grabbed my wristlet and started fumbling for change.

Then I took a closer look. His arms were covered with the open sores I associate with drug users, and I wasn't about to donate $2 that *I* need to enable a habit. And for a sick man, he wasn't having any trouble riding around on that bike.

So I gave him my best "I'm really very sorry. I wish I could, but I'm out of work and I just don't have it. I'm SO sorry."

Now I'm second-guessing myself. What if he really does have cancer? Maybe I should have offered to go to the pharmacy and retrieve it for him, to see if there really was a 'scrip. At the very least, I should've wished him good health and good luck.

Honestly, I don't know if I'm a sucker or a bitch. It's hard to tell, sometimes.
.

Comments

[ladyjane]

You're a caring person who listened to her gut. Gibbs would be proud of you. *hugs* Good girl!


btw,
IMHO, if the guy is able to ride a bike, he's strong enough to walk into the pharmacy, tell them he can't afford his meds, and ask if they know of any asistance he might qualify for.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

True, I'm pretty sure if you can't afford it, you can at least get part of a scrip...it's this kind of thing that gets me in trouble---being a Virgo, I get sucked into helping---it's my nature.

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

Hon, your gut was right. He was panhandling, and outside grocery stores is a favorite place for it.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

"Cancer patient" is just such a trigger for me...of course, he's probably counting on heavy-duty sympathy, because most people of a certain age know someone who's had cancer....

[strangevisitor7.livejournal.com]

You did the right thing - It saounded to me he was just trying to con you for a few bucks

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

I know too many people who've been messed up by drugs...I'd rather err on the side of caution if I'm in doubt. It's not easy when you're as soft-hearted (and/or soft-headed) as I am.

[karaokegal.livejournal.com]

Sounds like he's eligible for a Panny Award (TM). You are NEVER required to pay the "street tax." It's a choice we all have to make every day and sometimes we're gonna get taken and sometimes we're not.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

I might have coughed up a buck if I hadn't just found out that my unemployment benefits have been reduced. I'm on the verge of applying for food stamps, and next week I have a medical appointment at the health department. Charity begins at home!

[socialhermit.livejournal.com]

Don't feel guilty about it. You'll never know for sure if he was on the level or not, but you made a judgment call and that's that. I agree with those, above, though - if he was strong enough to be out riding a bike (and even have ACCESS to one, for that matter), he probably had other options for getting his meds. *cough*

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

If he *is* an addict, I'm sure he regards drugs of any kind as being just as vital as legit meds. To him, it was a tiny fib...but bullshit is still bullshit!

[ang5fam.livejournal.com]

My Dad was a recovering alcoholic and he always gave a dollar or two to whomever asked him. He lived in LA so it was a daily thing--he just said that he didn't feel it was his business what they did with the money--he said it was between them and their higher power.
It's one way to look at it.
I know someone who keeps McDonald's gift certificates in his car so if someone is panhandling for something to eat, he gives them one of those instead of cash. I've never had to beg for money . It's easy to get irritated but as they say "you never know until you've walked a mile in their shoes." I figure I waste a dollar or two on things that aren't necessary (as we all do) so sometimes it makes me feel better to give it to someone else. What they do with it really isn't my concern.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

"I'm not my brother's keeper"? Look, my friend S is killing herself slowly with booze and pills, and I know what a toll it's taking on her family and loved ones. True, I don't know this guy's story, but he may have loved ones somewhere who are worried about him, and THAT I understand. I know the only person who can stop an addict is the addict him/herself---but my conscience won't let me enable them to continue. That's just me, YMMV.

[ang5fam.livejournal.com]

What does YMMV stand for?

"Your Merry, Merry Virgo?" ha ha

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh---good one, sister Virgo!

YMMV = Your Milage May Vary

And now I'm off to church--!