Entitled to an opinion....

[vanillafluffy]

Last night, I exorcized a minor SPN bunny to get it out of my system. I produced a ficlet---nothing major: 200 words on how I think the series could end. (Not even how I'd LIKE for it to end, just...a scenario.) I'll be the first to admit that End Game is not deathless prose, but I posted it here, and over at ff.net before heading off to bed, and this morning, I awoke to a ff review that said, in its entirety, "This...isn't even a fanfic."

To which I fired back a good-humored response: "Okay, it's a prophecy."

What I find especially amusing is what the reviewer says on his/her profile, "I love leaving reviews. I try and leave well rounded con-crit for stories that...need it? I've been on this site for quite a while and I think I can tell complete rubbish from fics that just need a little guidance."

THIS is well-rounded con-crit? Guidance? It is to laugh! Particularly coming from someone who's written two stories in two years and nothing whatsoever in the fandom in question. I think this is going to become one of my favorite reviews, right up there with the one for Mary Sue Sells Mary Kay, which bleated, "You ruined Edward Scissorhands!.

Anybody else want to share off-the-wall reviews you've had?

Comments

[biggelois.livejournal.com]

I haven't been around long enough to have got any of the sorts. But I've seen them being left. I bet that if you answer the person back again and demands one of those 'well-rounded con-crits', the person will attack full force with sockpuppets and 'friends' and the lot. How dare you not appreciate the perfect review? ::snort:: sorry.
I stay way off FF.net. That place seems to attract the serious crackheads and lets them roam free without straightjackets.
I liked the drabble. Cool way of writing it like a film scene.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

I started out on ff.net a couple years before I found my way here, so I'm used to the general level of inaneity. I just remind myself that the average age over there is puberty (IMO, I could be wrong, but God help the future of the civilized world when those quasi-literates are in charge, circa 2040), and my own juvenile scribblings are best salted and burned. Although at least my stuff had reasonably decent spelling and correct punctuation....

Glad you liked the ficlet!

[majolika.livejournal.com]

my favourite ever review on amazon says something like "there is this one guy who takes his own fucked-up life because of a simple blowjob, and if this book is supposed to be erotic, then Heidi is porn!"

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

if this book is supposed to be erotic, then Heidi is porn!

I always knew there was something going on with all those goats!

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

The weirdest review I ever got was at ff.net in which the commentor said she was personally disappointed in something I'd written and "expected better from you." That was a bit too "Fatal Attraction"-esque for me, so I pulled all my stuff from there and decamped to LiveJournal, where there are some protections against anonymous nutcases.

I saw your SPN double-drabble piece and didn't get a chance to comment at the time. I thought it was good. It's no more "out there" than any other end-of-the-world piece, and is in keeping with a fate both the brothers have been threatened with by forces bigger than themselves. Plausible? Yes. Heartbreaking to contemplate? Oh, yes.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

And now she's PMed me with a reply to my comment. *eyeroll* WhatEVER.

[karaokegal.livejournal.com]

Honey...it's the PIT, and it's called that for a reason. I don't think I've gotten any super flakey reviews over there, except that one that suggested I could use a Beta and basically treated me like a not-very bright five year old, but in general I don't look for Dorothy Parker level reviewing other there.

See, I'm being a good girl and blaming the idiocy on the venue, rather than the fandom. Do I get points for that?

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

It's not like I've never gotten comments from whackadoos before, but thankfully, they've been few and far between. I've been patronized, too, chastized for het AND slash, been scolded by people who wouldn't recognize tongue-in-cheek if it frenched them---although I think this IS the first time I've been trolled in this fandom. (The chick has PMed me to answer my reply. It irks me that I'm liable to spend more time dealing with her than I did actually writing the story!)

[karaokegal.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's starting to verge into Stalker territory.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

I'm probably going to at least sleep on it before I reply...give her a chance to find someone/thing else to fixate on.

[karaokegal.livejournal.com]

Sometimes you just need to drop the rope.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

A whole lot of Freudian dyslexia just happened there. Drop the soap? Soap on a rope? *starts humming "Don't drop the soap for anyone else but me..."*

[karaokegal.livejournal.com]

Tug of war metaphor.