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This is the second morning in a row that I've hallucinated the sound of my front doorbell, leaped out of bed yelling, "Hello?" and found no one there. Perhaps I dreamed it? Pity I didn't manage to get the trash to the curb, since the trash truck has come and gone.
I'm meeting GK and BC at the funeral home at 11. We're going in separate cars since GK only rented a mid-sized sedan, and there's no way it'll fit her, me, BC AND Things 1 and 2. Not to mention, I've been on car trips with her kids before, and I'd rather not, IYKWIM. I'm sure she and I will have plenty of togetherness---she's staying on for a couple days after the funeral, and her hub is flying back with the Things.
The funeral is Saturday morning, I don't know if I've said. There's a sizable hole in my heart; I still feel somewhat numb, but at the same time, I get upset easily. Drop something, trip over something, computer frustates me---hell, ANYTHING that frustrates me---and my inadvertant expletives would make a Marine blush. I've been reining in my unhappiness for months as her condition deteriorated, and now it's breaking free like a glacier calving iceburgs. Not exactly the way I *want* to celebrate Kat's legacy, it just feels like my life don't work. Not that that's anything unusual, but that plus grief? Not pretty.
The Olympics are making me happy. I'm glad the Canadians broke their drought and got a gold medal, I'm happy for those sweet Chinese couple who won the pairs figure-skating gold, and yay, the Estonians took silver in women's cross-country skiing. (My Estonian friend jokes that there are only two seasons there: winter, and lousy skiing weather....)
Yesterday's SPN marathon made me happy. I agreed with most of the eps they showed, although "Criss Angel is a D-bag"...ehh, not so much. But "Tall Tales", "Mystery Spot" are both fabu, "Hollywood Babylon" and "Bad Day at Black Rock" are both hoots, and I'll always sit through "After School Special" for the sheer pleasure of cougaring Brock Kelly.
Once more into the breach....
.
I'm meeting GK and BC at the funeral home at 11. We're going in separate cars since GK only rented a mid-sized sedan, and there's no way it'll fit her, me, BC AND Things 1 and 2. Not to mention, I've been on car trips with her kids before, and I'd rather not, IYKWIM. I'm sure she and I will have plenty of togetherness---she's staying on for a couple days after the funeral, and her hub is flying back with the Things.
The funeral is Saturday morning, I don't know if I've said. There's a sizable hole in my heart; I still feel somewhat numb, but at the same time, I get upset easily. Drop something, trip over something, computer frustates me---hell, ANYTHING that frustrates me---and my inadvertant expletives would make a Marine blush. I've been reining in my unhappiness for months as her condition deteriorated, and now it's breaking free like a glacier calving iceburgs. Not exactly the way I *want* to celebrate Kat's legacy, it just feels like my life don't work. Not that that's anything unusual, but that plus grief? Not pretty.
The Olympics are making me happy. I'm glad the Canadians broke their drought and got a gold medal, I'm happy for those sweet Chinese couple who won the pairs figure-skating gold, and yay, the Estonians took silver in women's cross-country skiing. (My Estonian friend jokes that there are only two seasons there: winter, and lousy skiing weather....)
Yesterday's SPN marathon made me happy. I agreed with most of the eps they showed, although "Criss Angel is a D-bag"...ehh, not so much. But "Tall Tales", "Mystery Spot" are both fabu, "Hollywood Babylon" and "Bad Day at Black Rock" are both hoots, and I'll always sit through "After School Special" for the sheer pleasure of cougaring Brock Kelly.
Once more into the breach....
.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-16 06:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-17 12:47 am (UTC)*hugs you*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-17 05:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-18 12:22 am (UTC)Olympics
Date: 2010-02-19 11:28 am (UTC)Re: Olympics
Date: 2010-02-19 04:06 pm (UTC)Re: Olympics
Date: 2010-02-19 10:23 pm (UTC)