Mardi Gras means "Fat Tuesday"...yeah, rub it in

[vanillafluffy]

This is the second morning in a row that I've hallucinated the sound of my front doorbell, leaped out of bed yelling, "Hello?" and found no one there. Perhaps I dreamed it? Pity I didn't manage to get the trash to the curb, since the trash truck has come and gone.

I'm meeting GK and BC at the funeral home at 11. We're going in separate cars since GK only rented a mid-sized sedan, and there's no way it'll fit her, me, BC AND Things 1 and 2. Not to mention, I've been on car trips with her kids before, and I'd rather not, IYKWIM. I'm sure she and I will have plenty of togetherness---she's staying on for a couple days after the funeral, and her hub is flying back with the Things.

The funeral is Saturday morning, I don't know if I've said. There's a sizable hole in my heart; I still feel somewhat numb, but at the same time, I get upset easily. Drop something, trip over something, computer frustates me---hell, ANYTHING that frustrates me---and my inadvertant expletives would make a Marine blush. I've been reining in my unhappiness for months as her condition deteriorated, and now it's breaking free like a glacier calving iceburgs. Not exactly the way I *want* to celebrate Kat's legacy, it just feels like my life don't work. Not that that's anything unusual, but that plus grief? Not pretty.

The Olympics are making me happy. I'm glad the Canadians broke their drought and got a gold medal, I'm happy for those sweet Chinese couple who won the pairs figure-skating gold, and yay, the Estonians took silver in women's cross-country skiing. (My Estonian friend jokes that there are only two seasons there: winter, and lousy skiing weather....)

Yesterday's SPN marathon made me happy. I agreed with most of the eps they showed, although "Criss Angel is a D-bag"...ehh, not so much. But "Tall Tales", "Mystery Spot" are both fabu, "Hollywood Babylon" and "Bad Day at Black Rock" are both hoots, and I'll always sit through "After School Special" for the sheer pleasure of cougaring Brock Kelly.

Once more into the breach....
.

Comments

[ang5fam.livejournal.com]

What was her full name? I was looking in the obits but only know Kat.

[socialhermit.livejournal.com]

You've been dealing with Kat's slow/steady decline (and its' inevitable conclusion) for quite awhile now. I'd be shocked if you weren't a bit on-edge. Don't beat yourself up over it.

*hugs you*

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

AND I forgot your birthday---I'm sorry! Hope it was a good one, and you have a great year ahead!

[socialhermit.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. And that's quite all right. I know you've got a LOT to deal with right now. :-)

Olympics

[kukkurkurat.livejournal.com]

Yup, there is only two seasons - and now the piles of snow are so high we should consider making more skiing sports a priority. Plus the woman who got the silver told in her interview that had she only known that there was just 6 seconds between silver and gold, she would have pushed that much harder (well, she has had two golds from previous times, I take she knows what she talks about; even after having a baby and being off active sport for 4 years...)

Re: Olympics

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you never know. If she'd pushed it after being away for so long, she might have crashed and not won anything. This way, she still wins.

Re: Olympics

[kukkurkurat.livejournal.com]

she is going on the race today, as well. Let just see what happens.