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[vanillafluffy]

They bent the rules a little to get me into kindergarten. I was about a week away from being eligible, and I had to go in for an interview. Having always been the youngest one in the room, I had no qualms about talking to the adult in question, and they admitted me.

For some reason, my folks wanted to send me to a private parochial school, which is how I ended up spending nine years (K-8th grade) at St. Jerk's* Lutheran. My paternal grandfather, who died before I was born, had been a Lutheran minister, but our immediate family wasn't devout. We said (Norwegian) grace before dinner on Sunday, and that was IT.

Perhaps if I'd gotten Bible stories along with the Dr Seuss and other fairy tales, the indoctrination might have taken, but...not so much. Oh, there were five classes a week for religion, chapel on Monday morning and vespers on Friday afternoon, and stories about the usual suspects: Adam and Eve, Noah, Moses, David, Jesus and the Apostles, the Ten Commandments and the Liturgy---and it was as dry to me as Colombus and Magellan, the Pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving or George Washington chopping down the cherry tree. They were interesting stories, but didn't seem to carry over to Real Life.

(Although on my 9th grade field trip to the Ringling Art Museum in Sarasota, I raised eyebrows when I was able to rattle off answers about the subjects of the famous religious art they had displayed. Manna from Heaven and Elijah in the fiery chariot and whatnot. I got the hairy eyeball from my secular classmates, who clearly thought I was a little weird.
In a word, YES.)

What I remember best about actually starting school: Two things, first that I wore the green and gold poodle pin that had been a birthday present a few days before. (I still have it!) And second, it rained the first day of school, we missed the bus, and my mom took me there in a taxi.

If you've read Kindergarten Isn't Ready for Dean Winchester, then you already know about my teacher that year. I was mostly quiet and not a troublemaker, but "Mrs. George" wasn't the only harsh educator I would encounter during my tenure at St. Jerk's.

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* Names may have been changed to protect the guilty. Thanks be to pwcorgigirl, whose adventures at "St. Procrastination" inspired my alma mater's nom du guerre.

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Comments

[foreverhermit.livejournal.com]

Laughing my ass off at St. Jerk's and St. Procrastination - HAH!

I was raised Protestant and didn't go to any religious schools, but I've known too many people who've told me that attending those things is enough to put someone OFF organized religion (whatever denomination or affiliation) for life!

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Most of the kids in the neighborhood went to Catholic school. THRY had nuns---this was in the old days when nuns still looked like nuns---and I kept waiting for us to get some, but we never did. No matter: We may not have gotten the whole "ruler across the knuckles" business, but St. Jerk's DID use The Paddle.

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

St. Jerk's made me grin hugely. :)

I have no idea why people think religious instruction is like really good wallpaper and will stick to anything without any preparation. Your experience at St. Jerk's was a lot like mine with suddenly being dumped into small town church life at the age of 5.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

dumped into small town church life at the age of 5

Basically. And wewere bussed there from all over Staten Island. There weren't a lot of kids from my neighborhood---2 or 3 at most---which was strictly blue collar. That only added to the non-intersecting bubbles of School and Real Life.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

probably one of the million and six reasons I'm an atheist is because I had a LOT of negative church and Sunday school experiences as a kid, sounds as if yours weren't as bad.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

I was an atheist for a few years in my 20s...I finally realized that I *do* believe there's someone/thing Out There---but he/she/it is too big for us to comprehend, and trying to fit such a Power into a neat little box is fucking ridiculous.

[gwylliondream.livejournal.com]

Another fun entry to read.

Interestingly, my son's birthday is August 28, so he made the cutoff for school by 3 days. He is a Sophmore in High School now, but he will always be the youngest kid in his class. This has presented an enormous problem with sports. He is very athletic and plays on several different youth baseball teams throughout the year, including Babe Ruth League, Fall Ball, attends a winter baseball camp, etc... He is usually one of the first players drafted onto a team. He was utterly devastated to not make his High School's Freshman Baseball team last year. The reason he didn't make the team (as told to me by the coach!) was because there are too many other players on the team who are a full year, or more, older than my son. (They can be more than a full year older because their parents kept them back from entering first grade until they were 7 years old.) They have more height, more muscle, and more strength. This totally sucks. It's like the older kids were rewarded for staying back.

Sorry for going on and on, but I wonder if your early entry into school affected you, either positively or negatively?

Hope you're having a wonderful day!

Donna

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

The thing about St. Jerk's was, they did a lot of standardized testing, and I tested well, so I got passed regardless of what my grades were. They were usually abysmal for a variety of reasons, but they knew I knew the material, so I kept up with my grade...unfortunately, public school---at least the ones doown here---don't work that way. I didn't do homework, I flunked, it took me five years to get through high school. But I'll get to all that eventually....

It didn't affect me as far as sports went, though. I'm one of the least athletic people on the planet, I've been fat for as long as I can remember (although it was called being "chubby" in those days), so I was always picked last, even though I have tall genes and was taller than most of the other kids in my class, boys included, until junior high.

[gwylliondream.livejournal.com]

LOL!

You're not fat, you're 'fluffy!'

Sorry, I couldn't resist!

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

You're not fat, you're 'fluffy!'

*nods* Uh-huh. One of the reasons behind the handle.

Tomorrow's essay is going to delve into my weight, so...yeah.