7 to 50 -- 2003
Sep. 1st, 2010 01:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vanillafluffyHWSNBN had a cyber-sex habit. He renewed acquaintences with some dame he used to know who'd lived in Melbourne and now lived in Ocala. He wanted to visit her and asked me to go with him. Nothing to hide, right? We met her at a local restaurant---so far, so good. After lunch, she wanted to show us where she lived, so we followed her out to the middle of nowhere. Looked around, okay, ready to go?
No. One of her pitbulls had bitten a hole in one of the tires. Good luck trying to find a tire in Ocala after 5 on a Sunday afternoon. We had to stay the night. That's when he started fooling around with her. Oh, but it was my own fault---*I* hadn't negotiated monogamy when we started our relationship! He couldn't understand WHY I was upset.
We got another tire in the morning, went back to the place and put it on, only to discover that another tire was flat. And HWSNBN was out of money, according to him, so the slut's daughter's boyfriend produced a tire from somewhere. This time, we got out of there.
There was a lot of fallout from that visit. For one thing, he kept making solo trips up there for carnal purposes. It upset me, and he knew it upset me, but he did it anyway.
There was also a Near Death Experience, namely, when the mystery tire blew on I-95 while I was doing 70 on the way to Vero Beach to visit his dad for Father's Day. (His dad is/was a very nice guy---much nicer than HWSNBN)---and I liked going down there. Anyway, it was like going over a grenade---my overriding thought was, Don't cross the center line!. Pull over onto the shoulder.
The only trouble was, I was turbo-charged with adrenelin---my hands were shaking for the next two hours---and I didn't slow down enough before I hit the grass.
The car spun out. I had a moment of "We're going to flip, I'm going to die!" as the car kept spinning around.
We wound up on the shoulder, all right, having done a complete 180 and now facing oncoming traffic.
There was the blown tire, another tire had popped off the rim, and it turned out several weeks later that the belts in it had snapped, but it wasn't immediately apparent. The next couple of hours were stressful, and of course, it was Kat I called from a convenience store to come and rescue us.
We did eventually make it to Vero, but the damage was done. Not only had HWSNBN violated my trust by fucking around, that liason had damn near gotten me killed. I developed a dandy little case of post-traumatic stress---to this day, I'm not comfortable driving on I-95---to the point where I wouldn't drive after dark, drive in the rain, and I had a comfort zone that had shrunk to a few square miles.
That summer, GK en famile moved to Massechusetts, because her hub wasn't feeling fulfilled at his local job. That killed me a little. 20+ years and separated because Mr Sensative New Age Guy wasn't happy. Grrr.
When, a few months later, HWSNBN broke one promise too many, I asked him to leave. I was a wreck; I was 393 pounds, everything made me cry, not a day went by that I didn't think of suicide. I would miss being half of a couple, of having access to backrubs and cuddles, of being part of a two-paycheck household. But I realized the truth of the saying, it's better to be alone and wish you had someone than to be with someone and wish to be alone.
.
No. One of her pitbulls had bitten a hole in one of the tires. Good luck trying to find a tire in Ocala after 5 on a Sunday afternoon. We had to stay the night. That's when he started fooling around with her. Oh, but it was my own fault---*I* hadn't negotiated monogamy when we started our relationship! He couldn't understand WHY I was upset.
We got another tire in the morning, went back to the place and put it on, only to discover that another tire was flat. And HWSNBN was out of money, according to him, so the slut's daughter's boyfriend produced a tire from somewhere. This time, we got out of there.
There was a lot of fallout from that visit. For one thing, he kept making solo trips up there for carnal purposes. It upset me, and he knew it upset me, but he did it anyway.
There was also a Near Death Experience, namely, when the mystery tire blew on I-95 while I was doing 70 on the way to Vero Beach to visit his dad for Father's Day. (His dad is/was a very nice guy---much nicer than HWSNBN)---and I liked going down there. Anyway, it was like going over a grenade---my overriding thought was, Don't cross the center line!. Pull over onto the shoulder.
The only trouble was, I was turbo-charged with adrenelin---my hands were shaking for the next two hours---and I didn't slow down enough before I hit the grass.
The car spun out. I had a moment of "We're going to flip, I'm going to die!" as the car kept spinning around.
We wound up on the shoulder, all right, having done a complete 180 and now facing oncoming traffic.
There was the blown tire, another tire had popped off the rim, and it turned out several weeks later that the belts in it had snapped, but it wasn't immediately apparent. The next couple of hours were stressful, and of course, it was Kat I called from a convenience store to come and rescue us.
We did eventually make it to Vero, but the damage was done. Not only had HWSNBN violated my trust by fucking around, that liason had damn near gotten me killed. I developed a dandy little case of post-traumatic stress---to this day, I'm not comfortable driving on I-95---to the point where I wouldn't drive after dark, drive in the rain, and I had a comfort zone that had shrunk to a few square miles.
That summer, GK en famile moved to Massechusetts, because her hub wasn't feeling fulfilled at his local job. That killed me a little. 20+ years and separated because Mr Sensative New Age Guy wasn't happy. Grrr.
When, a few months later, HWSNBN broke one promise too many, I asked him to leave. I was a wreck; I was 393 pounds, everything made me cry, not a day went by that I didn't think of suicide. I would miss being half of a couple, of having access to backrubs and cuddles, of being part of a two-paycheck household. But I realized the truth of the saying, it's better to be alone and wish you had someone than to be with someone and wish to be alone.
.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 12:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 03:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 01:57 pm (UTC)(((vanillafluffy)))
"it's better to be alone and wish you had someone than to be with someone and wish to be alone"
FTW!
XO
Donna
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 04:04 pm (UTC)It's hard to be alone, even now, but mostly it's because of finances and wanting some help with heavy lifting. Otherwise, I'm fairly well satisfied with my own company and a personal, battery-operated device.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 02:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 04:09 pm (UTC)I dunno, is that the same as pig stubbornness? Because if it wasn't for being stubborn as hell and having a sense of humor (bent though it may be at times), I would've jumped in front of a bus. I wasn't exactly standing tall and belting out "I Will Survive!".
Lovely hugs, thanks.... *purrs*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 04:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 05:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 07:10 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you had to go through any of that, but very glad you survived, physically AND emotionally.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 07:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-02 06:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-02 06:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-03 04:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-03 04:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-03 04:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-03 04:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 07:58 pm (UTC)Are we having semi-mirrored lives or something? I've had the wheel come off a car I was driving (only about 50mph) at 2:00am.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 08:25 pm (UTC)This was at 10 AM on a fairly busy highway---although WAY back in the day, I had a wheel collapse on me as I was pulling into my driveway (doing all of 2 mph). Aside from Leroy and the Studebaker Lawn Ornament, I've never owned a car that wasn't a PoS. There's always something going wrong....
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 08:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 09:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-01 11:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-02 12:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-02 12:52 am (UTC)And I could only get him to mow the lawn when the city was threatening to come over and cut it for us (to the tune of $50 a pop)!