I'm such a sheep!

[vanillafluffy]

I keep listening to the siren call of my f'list, and being lured into more and more fandoms. *headdesk* Why do I do that?! More to the point, why did I tune into the season premiere of Supernatural just in time to have my heart broken?

Posted at the Pit of Voles as "The Difference".
(Edit: Changed title to "Cinders, Ashes and Smoke". Still no reviews. Wah! Nobody loves me!)


Fucking isn't the same as being in love, any more than managing to scratch that itchy place on your back means that you've fixed your screwed-up life. Nothing's ever gonna fix your life; that was reduced to cinders long ago and took love with it. Since then, sex is something you do once in a while, an act of no more emotional significance to you than having a cheeseburger and a beer when you're hungry. It's not difficult to get your ashes hauled; when you want to, you can play nice...sweet talk a gal, get her naked and put a smile on her face. It's a fine line to walk; you decided a long time ago that pleasuring a woman was a kind of hommage to the one woman you'll never hold close again. But you can't tell them that; they won't understand---so, at the first sign they want more from you, you're gone, smoke. What they end up wanting is something you don't have; all you have is memories and a screwed-up life and an itch you can't quite scratch.


I'm okay with being recced (if you think it's decent)---I'm so new, I don't really know where the rest of the flock fandom hangs out.

Comments

[teresa-c.livejournal.com]

I'm with you. Friends in my old locale tried to pimp me into the fandom, even giving me DVDs of half of season 1. I watched them and liked the pretty men, but the monster of the week format left me blah, so I never watched the new shows. But some of the most awesome writers on my f-list have been writing knockout fanfic, and then, last night, Mom said, lets watch it. So, like you, I had my heart broken, unexpectedly.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

I was never really "into" Buffy or Angel or X-Files, and I knew even hearing about it secondhand that teh young pretties weren't my type. But nobody mentioned Daddy, who I remember fondly from a million years ago in "The Burning Zone", which I liked a lot, despite a certain amount of cheese. Oooh, big, dark, scruffy, rough edges and zero tolerance for bullshit...just my type. (Might even make me consider recasting Shadow from "Wisdom's Gate", and you *know* I was firm on that!) One good thing, though---with a fandom like that, resurrecting him is par for the course. Might even happen in canon....