Oh, yes. My friends come to me for relationship advice, and I do get a little voyeristic about it maybe, more interested in the specific details and thoughts and things than I really should be. But the question I always ask them is, 'what do want?' and my advice is, 'so that, do what makes you comfortable and happy and able to live with it.'
I'm for a certain selfishness in relationships, and because I don't feel the way they do about their partners, I can't tell how much their own feelings are bound up with their partners'. And maybe the fact that I am only on their side, where they have to also be on the side of maintain the relationship is where my advice is valuable.
But I do wonder. I think that's very human. Learning from other people's mistakes and actions is a uniquely human attribute, and one that really needs to be exercised more.
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Date: 2006-10-12 03:12 am (UTC)My friends come to me for relationship advice, and I do get a little voyeristic about it maybe, more interested in the specific details and thoughts and things than I really should be. But the question I always ask them is, 'what do want?' and my advice is, 'so that, do what makes you comfortable and happy and able to live with it.'
I'm for a certain selfishness in relationships, and because I don't feel the way they do about their partners, I can't tell how much their own feelings are bound up with their partners'. And maybe the fact that I am only on their side, where they have to also be on the side of maintain the relationship is where my advice is valuable.
But I do wonder. I think that's very human. Learning from other people's mistakes and actions is a uniquely human attribute, and one that really needs to be exercised more.