vanillafluffy: (nonsexual metaphor)
[personal profile] vanillafluffy
From a different source, I have a 24 year old actress saying, "Monogamy is a weird thing for me. It's an overrated virtue, because, let's face it, we're fucking animals."

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and *presume* she isn't talking about beasiality. Since I'm older than both of these chickies added together, I'm trying to remember what being 24 felt like---quite a bit hornier than 47, I seem to recall, and 47 still has the urge, yes indeedy.

But still.

That's two young women in less than 12 hours who've gone on record equating the sex drive with animal instinct that it's okay to pursue at will. Now, far be it from me to put down sex. Find me the right individual, and I'm good with that! For me, "the right individual" is the crux of the sentence. I don't want to screw just anyone: I want a partner, someone I have things in common with after we've climbed back out of bed (or the backseat, or wherever). If I just want a quick orgasm, I can take care of that myself in a few minutes without the bother of getting dressed up to troll for a temporary "mate". My emotional needs outweigh my physical needs.

I'm disturbed by the spirit of indiscriminate fuckery that permeates both these quotes, which ignores the fact that some animals ARE monogamous. "Monogamy is weird." I find myself wondering if both these girls are from broken homes. What examples were set for them in their formative years? How did they both arrive at this conclusion?

Maybe I'm the one who's hopelessly old-fashioned. After all, my parents had a stable, 35 year marriage until my mom's death. (My dad didn't go hunting for women afterward, either, although he did rent porn vids.) My mother was shocked that I thought sex before marriage was okay; this sort of thinking would've made her swoon. I may not have bought into that, but I do insist on love before sex, animal instinct or no. Does that make me anticuado, a fossil? *sigh* Perhaps so.

It's my self-respect, I think I'll keep it.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-10-11 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vanillafluffy.livejournal.com
Comment, no. Observe, yes. Part of being a writer, looking at things and wondering what's beneath the fascade, why things work or don't work, and how they came about, if I don't know. Like, the relationship that baffles me involves one of my oldest friends, and I wouldn't hurt/antagonize her by saying anything. It's her life, it's her business---I just wonder. And being human, have my *own* opinion about it.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-10-12 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] secondsilk.livejournal.com
Oh, yes.
My friends come to me for relationship advice, and I do get a little voyeristic about it maybe, more interested in the specific details and thoughts and things than I really should be. But the question I always ask them is, 'what do want?' and my advice is, 'so that, do what makes you comfortable and happy and able to live with it.'

I'm for a certain selfishness in relationships, and because I don't feel the way they do about their partners, I can't tell how much their own feelings are bound up with their partners'. And maybe the fact that I am only on their side, where they have to also be on the side of maintain the relationship is where my advice is valuable.

But I do wonder. I think that's very human. Learning from other people's mistakes and actions is a uniquely human attribute, and one that really needs to be exercised more.

Profile

vanillafluffy: (Default)
vanillafluffy

September 2023

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags