What's the most embarrassing moment you've had to live through? Do you look back at it now and laugh, or do you still cringe when you think of it?

The year was 1989. I'd lost quite a bit of weight over the course of about a year, going from 315 pounds down to 230ish at the lowest. I don't recall *exactly* how much I weighed at the time of this incident, but it was somewhere on the sunny side of 250.

I was working the night shift at an answering service, and frequently stopped at one convenience store or another to pick up a cold caffeinated beverage on the way in to work (Start time, 11PM).

At the time, I didn't have a washing machine at my house, and I hadn't been to the laundromat for a while...long enough to be down to the rattiest of the old panties at the bottom of the drawer.

So there I was at like, 10:45 at night, back near the cooler grabbing a big ol' Diet Coke, when the saggy, stretched-out panties succumbed to gravity and dropped down around my ankles without any prompting from me.

I was the only one in the store, not in line-of-sight of the cashier, but I had a feeling that trying to retrieve my undies might have made me a tad conspicuous. I abandoned them, paid for my drink, and got the hell out of there. I felt awfully drafty that night at work, but nobody noticed,or if they did, they didn't say anything to me. I blush to think of what whoever found those raggedy drawers thought!

It was probably about 15 years before I went into that particular convenience store again. I've also learned to cull my lingerie before it gets THAT bad.

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You know you've beem reading and writing too much slash when you read the words "KY derby party" and don't immediately think of horse racing.


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I don't know what it is, whether it's a side-effect of all the antibiotics, or my body reacting to the infection, or both, but lately, I've practically been hibernating. I'll take an afternoon nap, AND I'll sleep from the middle of the night til morning. *yawn*

In the middle of today's afternoon nap, my phone rang. I answered, and heard someone asking if my mother was there.

Fluffy: "My mother? I'm sorry, my mother died several years ago." To say the least!
Caller (whose accent hints at ESL origins): "No, Yemada. Is Yemada there?"
Fluffy: "No ma'am, I'm sorry, there's no one here by that name. Have a good weekend."

Add to that, a doozy from auto-correct. I was making a shopping list on my phone, and right up there at the top of the list was Neosporin. I was pecking it in, and auto-correct suggested Mesopotamia. I can just imagine *that* conversastion at checkout:

Cashier: "Did you find everything you were looking for today?"
Fluffy: "Well, I couldn't find Mesopotamia...."
Cashier: "Aisle nine, two shelves down from Knossos and a little to the left of Babylon."

Foot is definitely on the mend. I'm going to have to fight the temptation to Do Too Much. Although I've GOT to return all my overdue library stuff---I took it with me both time I went out with Mb, and didn't make it over there either time. Arrrgh! And laundry. I've got to get things set up so I can do laundry again....

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What is the weirdest question you’ve ever been asked?

Not necessarily weird, but certainly unexpected.... For a few glorious months, I worked at an adult emporium. The first job they set you at when you start is doing pricing, shrink-wrapping and attaching inventory control devices behind the scenes to expose you to the products and give you an idea what the costs are like.

So there I was, second or third day, back in the stockroom, being very industrious and not paying the slightest bit of attention to the conversation going on amongst a gaggle of my (male) coworkers across the room. Then one of them hollered at me, "Hey, Fluffy---do you like big dicks?"

I thought about it for a count of three, and replied, "Depends on where it's going!"

To which he responded, "Oooh! Me too!"

Absolutely true story; I'm just sorry I couldn't send to to Reader's Digest.

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J has LotR2 playing in the background. Someone said, "There are orcs roaming our land!" and the first thing that came into my head was, "Free-range orcs?!"

I know. random.

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Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

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He may be fucked up, but he's still a comedian.
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Epicurious's Oscar-night menus based on the best picture nominees

Not all the nominees, though. Only The Fighter, Black Swan, and Inception.

Really, I was already anticipating the entree for The King's Speech.



Tongue, of course.

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This morning's message from TUT was absolutely classic!


If I can handle plate tectonics... if I can wrap Saturn in rings... if I can hurl planets into place, and design Milky Ways, moths, and millipedes... just think what I can do for you.

Fluffy, want more.

A lot more.

It opens doors.

Tallyho,
The Universe


No, Fluffy, not the chocolate bar, the galaxy.

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