Confessions of a One-Track Mind

I've been stressed about a bunch of stuff over the last few days, which I haven't posted about because for one thing, weekend. Why cast a shadow over other people's weekends when it's nothing they can do anything about. Mondays, on the other hand, are generally crap, so why NOT post about all this crappy stuff?

Friday night, I got a call from Mb, who'd been hospitalized with chest pains. Supposedly, she needed a procedure, wwhich they were going to do today, but apparently decided at the last moment that no, her problem DIDN'T need the procedure, they're going to treat it with drugs. So I spent three days worrying about the procedure, which in fact they've been telling her she needs for months, and now I've got a sick feeling that the hospital has pulled this drug regimen out of its collective ass so as not to eat the cost of surgery on an uninsured patient.

This is on top of the interview I had yesterday afternoon. I didn't sleep much at all the night before and ended up skipping church (which wouldn't have been a big deal, except I'd signed up for hospitality before I knew about the interview---I called in, and someone covered for me, but add a helping of stress and guilt to the drama already in progress). Interview went okay, but the person I talked to says it's dependant on someone who may or may not be leaving.

I've paid the vital bills, now I have no cash, no income and my net/phone/cable will probably be gone within the week. I have a heat rash.

Why does life have to be so fucking COMPLICATED?!

.

Okay. So. I'm sitting here with my hair air-drying. I've filed my nails, selected what I'm going to wear. I'm just trying to relax and breathe and NOT make this interview too big a deal (But it is! It is!), and in about an hour I'll start getting dressed.

It's a warm day, so I plan to wear my favorite black and white "Art Nouveau" skirt. It comes to the lower kneecap and is neither to form-fitting nor too poofy. Above it, I'll have on my laboradorite blue top, short-sleeved, with a pleated ruffle at the neckline. My off-white Target flats should be attractive without making a fuss.

Please think good thoughts, y'all.
.

I was on hold for SIX HOURS, THIRTY-FOUR MINUTES when they cut me off. And then, of course, the damn line was busy. WTF, people? In what universe is this remotely adequate customer service?!

The upside being, I had a phone interview scheduled for between 2 and 4, so I didn't miss that as I'd been stressed that I would. I have an actual in-person interview tomorrow at 3...it's only a part-time minimum-wage thing, but at this point, it's better than nothing.

I also got an email from BigRed, who sent me info on a CSR position with the county, which closes today. I scrambled and got out a resume rewrite and a cover letter. Fingers crossed, y'all, because it's full time and $12+ an hour.

I may have to make a WalMart run. I want ice cream.



0=0=0=0=0

ETA --- HA! Got through again at 4:45. Stayed on the line, figuring it would cut me off at 5, but in fact a CSR came on the line at 5:15 and did the intervivew. I was tired enough not to make any snarktastic remarks. According to him, I ought to qualify, and should hear definitively within 30 days.

..

When I got over to J's yesterday, a friend of hers had dropped by (complete with whiny offspring), so I got to sit around for a while trying to keep a cheerful smile stapled to my cheeks while they talked about paperwork and someone who's a thief and some DVD J is borrowing and on and on.

Then the interlopers departed, and J wantedv to talk about tomorrow's event---except by then, I was in the grip of the notorious 4PM fade and my brain was temporarily offline. Basically, what to wear, when to be there, pack a lunch, yawn....

After an hour of that, we finally got on to the subject of my finances...which is not a happy subject. However, she *did* perpetrate a couple of techno miracles. First and foremost was setting things up so that I can access my FPL (electric) bill online. FPL has been a nightmare; because the account is still in my late father's name (dead since 1985, btw), the phone reps won't talk to me and I can't change it into my name, because they want a deposit that would choke a horse.

To add to the epic WTFness of the situation, when she got into it, we found out that an online account had already been set up. I was astonished when I saw the info: the email address belonged to HWSNBN. Considering how long ago that must have happened---he moved out in 2003---I'm still gaping like a codfish. Looking at the history of late payments, I wonder if he's been getting notices every time. And if he has, why the hell he never mentioned it back when he kept coming back here every weekend? IDEK.

So that's done, and then we did the same with BrightHouse (cable/net/phone). That was none too satisfactory. Their CSRs keep contradicting each other, and the one I got yesterday claims that I cannot possibly reduce my bill. That with the promo I have, if I turn in my DVR and converter and reduce the number of channels, I'll wind up paying $40 MORE a month.

I have a past-due balance, for which I got an extension til the 30th of this month. After that, it looks like I'm going to be relying on my PAYGo cell phone, digital converter box and other people's wireless. Which is going to be hideous, but my benefits are fixing to run out, and it's all I can do to keep my insurance paid and the utilities on for the next little while.

By the time we got through with all that, I was wrung out. J popped for pizza, and we watched some more Trauma. We've been working our way through that series, which I seriously miss---at this point, we're 7/23rds into it.

This morning, I had a workshop sponsored by AARP, which gives you tests of things like basic math skills, general computer knowledge and interpersonal teamwork skills. (I got 100% on the math portion, which floored me.) There's a pantheon of tests one can take, and I figure the more I can accumulate, the more secure I'll feel claiming the skills on resumes and in interviews.

The gal who ran it was cool. At one point, she did a demo on how to create an account for the system, and used the pseudonym "Nora Charles", which made me smirk---and I don't usually smirk at 9AM. She said she wondered if anyone would get the "Thin Man" reference. Told her I'm a huge Myrna Loy fan, and she mentioned that she's reading the books and picturing Myrna and William Powell. (Although in the books, Asta was a schnauzer. Just a little canine trivia....) She also admired my little blue shoes, worn with the blue and brown print skirt and cream colored top, and my glasses frames. She had on some lovely peridot earrings and a darling crochetted shrug. It's always an extra boost to get a compliment from someone who is herself well-dressed. It carries more weight, somehow.

Nearly 9---I'm gonna go enjoy my cable while I've got it.
.

My big plan for today called for a visit to my local Kelly Services...and then I discovered that they're no longer where they were when I last availed myself of them. They're halfway to freaking Melbourne. This does not mesh with my plans to get together with J to discuss my finances. Since I have a workshop already scheduled for tomorrow (and confirmed by phone this morning), that's going to have to wait til Monday.

Saturday, we have a doggy event---a new vet's office is having a grand opening, and is showcasing local vendors, including us.

I have a stiff neck, which is irksome. They say growing old is not for sissies; clearly, I'm a wimp. If I'm this lily-livered at 50, I can just imagine what a ray of sunshine I'll be at 60. Assuming I don't get hit by a bus first.

.

Got up, showered, checked email, dressed, packed up laptop and scooted over to J's. Got there shortly after 10, which for me is pretty good. I didn't go to the food pantry at all, didn't have an afternoon nap, just kept going and going and going....

Tomorrow I get to do it again, although hopefully without the circus that is J's on Monday morning. (Don't ask.) There's a resume-writing workshop tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to check that out---it can't hurt.

It feels like it should be Wednesday, at least.

.

Heaps of boxes at the curb getting soggy in the rain. Several trash bags too, including one that leaked on its way out of the house, necessiting I stop to mop the trail it left behind. Can I get more out today? Maybe. If I can stop going in circles and muttering to myself. This is one of those days where I'm oozing neuroses out of my pores.

Am going in about four different directions. Trying to clean, talking to J and making calls for her---bless her heart, she has offered to take me around to drop off some applications next week. (Because I'm at the point where I don't have a lot of gas, or money to refill, it's about 15 cents a mile to go anywhere, and one place in particular will ONLY take resumes/applications delivered personally---and they're 10 miles each way. There's a reason I avoid talking about this, it makes my brain short-circuit. Arrrgh.)

I should also do laundry. The garage is horrendous; I flung stuff out there to clear other areas, now I need to deal with it all. And my bedroom closet---that stuff is clean, but most of it can go, either I don't wear it or it doesn't fit. Or I don't wear it because it doesn't fit. Department of Redundancy Department much?

Plus, if I can do sheets and such NOW, I won't have to worry about it when GK gets here. Pillow(s), I'm sure I have a couple I can boil clean. Do I have a twin fitted sheet anywhere? IDK, it's been about 15 years since I've had a twin bed to put one on, but I can always wrap a queen-sized sheet around the mattress. It's only for a few nights. I doubt it'll be cold enough for a quilt, but THAT I've got.

Part of the problem is, Excedrin is the only thing standing between me and involuntary decaffeination. I don't want to take too much of it because I *don't* need the aspirin, so I may get even squirrellier. Be afraid.

Tonight, turkey is the protein du jour. (Thighs, baked.) Still plenty of rice to go with it, and mixed veggies. Or maybe some diced 'maters and corn. Decisions, decisions.

I need to get some laundry going. I need to...everything, basically. Last night, I went back and reread last year's entries at this time, and it seems like I was making progress. There's no sign of it now; it's all been reclaimed by clutter.

As I read somewhere lately, I've gone from epic!fail right to apocalypti!fail.

Also, I'm aghast that it's Thursday evening already...the week has melted away---I haven't walked, or been to the library---although I have made some calls for J about dog training. (It may not make me any money, but at least it gives me something I can put on my resume under "What I've been doing all this time".)

Got an email from AI about a job-seekers workshop in T'ville...I'm weighing cost versus benefit and am still undecided. Luckily, it isn't til the first week in February. (I know I haven't been talking about this much, because it's so tedious, but I'm getting a little desperate---I have GOT to get a real job, soon.)

==============================

ETA, I went with green beans. That's another can from the stockpile disposed of!

.