Confessions of a One-Track Mind

Talk about being all dressed up and nowhere to go. Here I am, nicely garbed and ready to head to WalMart (because I discovered last night that I'm supposed to do hospitality today---I've *got* to stop signing up for this shit!), and lo and behold---my battery is ded. Defunct. Terminal, no pun intended.

I've called the church and left a message, inwardly cringing, because this was NOT what I had in mind. Granted, I was just going to grab some chicken and salad, but I had every intention of coming through with what I promised.

God damn it, WHY? If it's not one thing, it's five things! And they're all back-to-frackin-back!

iefalheihfiofejhaoiegfyeivhfdv!!!!!

Got a call from PJ literally two minutes after turning my alarm off. (8:02 AM) Alarming news: They were off the boat, on the road, and expected to be home by noon. Going by what I know of cruises, I hadn't even expected them to be off the frackin' boat before 11.

That blew my plan of going calmly to church and coming back to the house to pack right out of the water. And unfortunately, I *couldn't* skip church, because PJ had printed out the programs for this week and entrusted them to me to deliver.

Had a very Ogden Nash morning: "When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout"... Add to that hospitality---I'd made a special trip to the price club on Saturday so I could do something nice: I planned tortellini salad with genoa salami, stuffed mushrooms, ruggala and grapes for dessert. Alas, packing took all my cooking time; I delivered the desserts---stressed spelled backward!---and dashed into WalMart on the way there.

Got to church and discovered that I was WRONG, that someone else was down for hospitality, although I think the fresh fried chicken was an improvement over cole slaw and cookies. (I have always thought cole slaw is a terrible thing to do to defenseless cabbage; if an atrocity is going to be committed on that veg, I much prefer sauerkraut.)

I went back afterward; the C's were back. I snagged my fridge stuff and departed. I'll have to got ahold of them, as I forgot my Tracfone charger and a loaf of bread, plus I need to let them know I have a package of fabric swatches coming. Honestly, when you place an order for something on Saturday, you except it to be shipped Monday, don't you? Certainly before Wednesday. Sheesh.

( In good news---yes, there is some! )

Supposedly my fence gets installed tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

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Plan ahead. A while back, in a burst of optimism, I volunteered to provide hospitality after service this Sunday. Now I'm quietly freaking out---what was I thinking?!---and trying to decide how best to accomplish a miracle of loaves and fishes*.

Corn and bean salad for sure---that's fast, cheap and easy to prepare and I have most of what I need in my cupboard already. AND it'll make the vegetarians happy. Get chips, shredded cheese and sour cream and it's there.

Dessert---I'm thinking chocolate pudding. Also in the fast, cheap and easy category, just add Cool Whip.

If I can figure out one other dish---something protein, doesn't have to be vegetarian, I'll be in good shape. (Come to think of it, I have an extra carton of eggs...deviled eggs would work.) I'm going to leave early for work and wander around Publix to see what their sales are. I won't be able to get any perishables, but I can always stop by WalMart after work tonight...that way all I have to do tomorrow night is assemble stuff.

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* This is a Biblical allusion, not an actual menu plan---just an FYI for the heathen among us.

Finally, after a little less than two weeks of deprivation, my connection is back on. I called the cable company from B's this afternoon (after a really scrumptious dinner---coming on the heels of last night's very good dinner, I'm a happy camper) and they pinged my box and apparently THAT was what it needed after they CLAIM they sent a tech out twice yesterday.

So---all the news that's fit to print: ( which you are of course under no obligation to wade through, as I'm making up for one week and five days of repression )

All righty! Having gotten all that unburdened, I think I'll go post something. I was trying for crack, but it actually makes sense. How do I DO that?!