Confessions of a One-Track Mind

I got an email from GK this afternoon saying NosyNeighbor was moving into Kat's trailer TOMORROW, instead of the 1st of the month as originally planned. Apparently, he's been having some problems with CrazyLandlady so she changed the date to his benefit...which meant getting my stuff out of there PDQ, since his UnspeakableSpawn has NO boundaries and can't be trusted not to be light-fingered.

Fortunately, he wasn't ready, so I've got some time, but BC and I made two trips so that the smaller stuff is safe here. BC got my gnarly old couch down to the curb, and I have to make enough room for the one that's coming. Holy hell, my living room is bursting at the seams and I'm freaking out.

Things were going so well. Before said email arrived, I sorted the rack of purses in my bedroom, then I unloaded all the clothes from the back of the bedroom door, sorted them into separates and dresses, and made two trips out to the garage to hang them out there. I was feeling a sense of modest accomplishment until all hell broke loose.

After running back and forth---twice---and unloading two station wagon loads of stuff and more stuff, it was after six. I barely had time to change clothes before book club/writing group and dash, and at that I just made it at 6:30. I'm all kinds of wrung out. I hope like hell tomorrow doesn't go off the rails like today did.
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If I have any pyrokinetic skill at all, NosyNeighbor's head should catch on fire. Srsly.

Tuesday I finally got to see Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. Liked it. Different from the book in places, but still entertaining. Sean Bean is as hot as ever. Pierce Brosnan looks good in a beard---I didn't have a single "OMG it's Ronald Reagan!" moment. Uma Thurman made one sexy Medusa. And the chick who played Annabeth should be cast as a young Elizabeth if White Collar ever does flashbacks---she looks like she could grow up to be Tiffani-Amber Theissen.

House-sitting has its moments. One thing about the location, it's convenient to everything. Three minutes from the mall, groceries, bookstores, gas, J. Maybe if I ever hit the lottery, I'll get a place in the neighborhood. But NOT on this street, because it's really freaking noisy. Maybe because there are canals behind the houses on either side of the street and things echo? Plus, my street curves, and this one is a straight line, which may also affect the acoustics. But jeez, every yappy dog, every rumbling pick-up truck, every $#%&ing weed-whacker---!

Today, the lawn service arrived at EIGHT A.M. This should be outlawed. Not to mention the yard was downright tidy by my standards, which are admittedly elastic. Ditto housekeeping---their weekly cleaner showed up just before 10, as I was dragging my sleep-deprived butt out of bed to watch SPN. (What Is and What Should Never Be---I love that one for Carmen; then again, MY Carmen was quite the domme.)

Cleaner was upstairs for almost three hours (cleaning bathroom grout with a toothbrush? IDEK---as long as it wasn't my toothbrush, IDC), during which I managed to scribble a few pages. (Strange computers are hard for me to write on; steno pad to the rescue. I *really* need a laptop!) By that time, I was OVER it. I hadn't had breakfast, because I didn't want to make a mess, I was hungry and tired of listening to her caterwauling along with her MP3 player---I couldn't make out any of the words, but she's not going to be on American Idol any time soon.

I went home to check my mail---picked up a box of chicken on the way---found a note from BC asking me to call (and wanting to know why I don't have an answering machine. Answer: Because I'm a Luddite, and also because it helps me avoid drama---sbjb, YOU know what I mean. I've got my real friends trained to e-mail me, as I seldom go more than a few hours without checking in.).

BC has become quite obliging of late. He brought over his loppers, the better to lop back the schiffilara that was trying to block the garage door. He cut that back, snipped the overgrowth on the confederate jasmine, and said that he'd be happy to help move any of my stuff from Kat's, just say the word. We've traded food pantry items: He likes powdered milk, I'm always on the lookout for free caffeine.

Last week, he brought me those plants that Kat had ordered last fall---today I dug up the bed in front of my front porch and planted the hydrangeas---hopefully we won't have any more frost! I also loosened the soil in the pots that held the begonias last year, readying them for whatever I do this spring. Kat's pink pampas grass is more problematic, as it wants full sun. {Possibly the NE corner? Hmm. Must mull over.)

Another activity I performed was napping in my own comfy bed. There really is no place like home! At its best, it's a pit compared to the C's at their worst, but by golly, it's MY pit. Only four more nights....
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The individual who called at least four times yesterday about the dog we were supposed to be training today has called to cancel. I'm not surprised, but I'm annoyed. Here's why:

The appointment was set up the week before last, and I know damn well that I TOLD him the 26th. He called last Friday and said he'd waited for us and we hadn't showed. (I didn't tell him that that was because I was at Kat's viewing, but I wish now that I had.) I reconfirmed it it was today, the 26th.

Yesterday, he started calling us again: To confirm the day and time, to get references---which no one has ever asked me for before, and at one point, he called the OTHER number and got J, who had workmen replacing her hot water heater and who managed to hang up on him. And he had questionions. Who was that, she sounded groggy? Was that the person who was going to come out to train his dog? How many trainers do we have? The person who'd referred him to us found us on Craigslist, was that right?

During the course of the phone calls, I explained that J is the trainer, that I assist, that we got started on Craigslist because J was alarmed by the number of ads for "Free dog, owner can't handle" on Craigslist, and because she's trained service dogs, she was moved to try to help and that's how she got started.

What I did not say, because J has told me not to, is that No, she probably wasn't groggy, she always sounds like that because J has a speech impediment. She has CP, and gets around with crutches and a wheelchair, which is the other reason she keeps me around (in addition to my mad phone skillz). Usually, we show up and let the clients figure it out for themselves---the dogs don't care, and once she started working her magic on them, the owners stop caring.

The references were hand-picked, of course, but I suspect they weren't coached not to mention J's disabilities. I think that individual learned about that, freaked out, and that's why he canceled. That's just my suspicion, I could be wrong, maybe his transmission went out or he has stuff going on for work, or they have out-of-town guests, IDK. I told him we're going to be doing an event this weekend, gave him the info with an invitation to come by and meet us. It's the least they can do.

And if not, well, he's still stuck with a problem dog. She's the one I feel sorry for.
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I'm in a thoroughly evil mood. I'm sad and overly sensitive, and if I need hand-holding, it's to keep me from slapping people who make light of my feelings or contradict me in any way. Right now, I'm not logical, I'm not entirely sure I'm sane---I went to WalMart Friday evening and was hallucinating Kat everywhere---and it takes very little to set me off.

I'm also recuperating from my annual case of tonsilitis. Usually that's accompanied by a full-on head cold and respiratory congestion, but this time it was 95% tonsils. I've slept about 16 of the last 48 hours, which I guess I needed, and I still feel like crap.

GK arrives tomorrow (en famile), will be in a hotel, as hubby's job pays for it, at least the first few days when he'll be working. There's supposedly a hot tub on the premises, which would be divine if the weather would warm up. (She was saying on the phone that she checked the local Florida temps on line, and that we're as cold as she is in Massachusetts!)

And IMO FWIW, Valentine's Day SUCKS.

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* And if you don't know what I'm talking about, the answer is in "An Answer to Prayer", which I posted a couple days ago. And it's being ignored. I'm getting more response from the Pit of Voles, which doesn't lighten my mood any.

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Today's poodle looked much like my icon. Cute little booger. And the really hysterical part---her owner and owner's friend were telling us about how naughty he is about this, that and the other---but he was an angel while we were there. Like, "He follows people to the door and gets underfoot and barks when they come in."...except that when I went out to the car for J's wallet, he sat next to his mama and didn't make a sound when I came back in. I was also the one who got the leash on him---I seem to have a knack---and it was really amusing to see the ladies jaws dropping. (Believe me, after Poncho, Puppy---yes, that's his name---was easy.)

We've also got a possible Boston terrier on the agenda---the couple who owns her is talking it over. He told me they were thinking of getting a second Boston to keep her company, and I tried to discourage them with the truth---if one dog has behavior problems, two are liable to set each other off; it's really better to work on the original dog's problems and when they're balanced, then get another dog if they want to get her companionship. I told J this and she applauded my learning curve. That was the right answer.

I'm not boasting so much as trying to bolster my self-esteem. I'm eating everything in sight, I'm not writing, I'm massively distracted and not getting anything much done around the house either. Part of it is the Kat situation, part of it is me feeling crappy, and YES, I KNOW I need to find a doctor or clinic or something, but it's true, when you have time, you have no money, when you have money you have no time.

Car du jour: I saw one of those new Chargers headed north on US1, and it was a total pimpmobile. Candy apple lilac, for crying out loud. With matching spinner wheels. Yikes.
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We were supposed to have two sessions today, but it ended up being one very, very long one. This dog was referred to us as "the chihuahua from hell"...snapped at his owner, wouldn't let her get a collar on him, let alone a leash, and led us a merry chase when we tried to do so. Last week, we cornered him and got a leash on him---by feeding the leash back through the wrist loop and getting that around his neck.

His owner is more of a problem than the dog himself is. She's in her mid-70s, has never had a puppy before just adult dogs---this little guys is a year old and spoiled rotten. The owner follows the line of least resistance---he doesn't want to wear a collar? No collar. He refuses to eat dog food? She lets him eat cat food---which btw is a BAD thing, in case you didn't know---it's too high in protein and can really mess up a dog's kidneys. He doesn't like riding in the car? She holds him in her arms and holds a peppermint stick for him to lick! She has little faith in his ability to change and doesn't seem able to carry out assignments from week to week, so today J and I took him for intensive one-on-one training.

Poncho hasn't given us nearly as much crap as we'd expected from his nickname. Today, *I* got a leash on him with a minimum of drama. We got him into a crate and he whined a little as we were driving, but not howling as his owner described. J has a friend with two small, happy dogs, and we took him over there for a brief visit. Her friend put a leash on one of her dogs, I had Poncho, and we walked them around the perimeter of her yard...by the time we got back to the front steps, Poncho's tail was up and wagging. We got him over to J's place, where she borrowed a small collar from another friend. She held Poncho, and I put the collar around his neck---and adjusted it a couple times to get the right fit---without snapping, snarling or fussing. (J is very happy with me.) She picked me up a little after noon, and I didn't get home til shortly after 8---it was a long day, but a satisfying one.

Oh, one other small annoyance: I got up this morning and found my water was turned off. Not just pink tagged, OFF. I had just enough in the bank to pay it up and get it turned back on, but I'm basically broke now. The only reason is because the extortionistic SOBs demanded a new $100 deposit from me...of all the utilities, I hate these guys the worst, because wtf am I supposed to do, flush with bottled water? Drill a well and pump my own? It's a fucking racket!
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I read this gem in a Yahoo news story about a woman suing because she was kept in a hospital against her will because she was undergoing a high-risk pregnancy: "She said her doctor, Jana Bures-Foresthoefel, was brusk and overbearing."

Brusk?! Arrgh! You mean "brusque", you idjit. Where the heck is SpellCheck when you need it?!
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The last few days have been intersting. The session with Thursday's dog, the chihuahua from Hell, went on for three hours while J and I tried to get a leash on him. We finally cornered him, literally---he was backed into a corner and surrounded on three sides. The dog we were supposed to meet with at noon on Friday was a no-show, but J took us out to lunch as an "oh well" bonus.

Of course, my microwave decided to die last night, so I have leftovers I've looking longingly at---but I'm down to my last five cups of soup, which is something.

Today---first dog of the afternoon was big, shaggy and goofy. Very Heinz 57. Owner had a lot of antique oak furniture and some decent repros...a bit more country than I would opt for if I could start from ground zero, but a little kitsch mixed in.

Second session: "Yappy Hour", a dog-friendly event at a local Mexican restaurant sponsored by a local rescue group. There were two absolutely gorgeous, immaculately groomed standard poodles, one black, one apricot---I was in love, as I grew up with a silver standard bitch. There were the greatest number of Shelties that I've ever seen in one place---I counted eleven at one point!---plus a variety of other breeds and crosses, including the Bull Mastiff pup (8 months) belonging to our client. He was very good---he didn't bark at all, didn't chase or jump on anyone---he's definitely a lot better behaved then when we started working with him a couple months ago!

From there, I got J to drop me off at Kat's, because GK is there...I finally collected my Christmas present---a rolling piece of leopard-print luggage---and hung out until she was starting to lag. At which point, she brought me home...I'm about DONE myself.
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I swear, I've made a dozen calls today about dog training. Getting histories of potential dogs, getting the address of a new case, making, canceling and remaking another appointment because there was someone else booked at the same time...which is somewhat stressful for me. My previous phone jobs have been INcoming, NOT outbound---the last outbound job I tried, I had a full-on meltdown on day three and washed out. This is NOT my forte---however, helping dogs is a higher priority for me than selling crap, so I've carried on.

In the middle of it all, I rang up Kat, who's home from the hospital and comfortably medicated. I made arrangements to go over tomorrow afternoon for a visit.

Then, of course, J rang back at 9PM to say that her other assistant had weaseled on her and she needed me to go down to Palm Bay with her...tomorrow afternoon. It shouldn't be too bad; I can call Kat in the morning and push the time back from 2-3 to closer to 4. If she'd scheduled me for the job to begin with, it wouldn't be an issue, period. *deep breath* But hey, it's another hour or so. Plus a session Thursday and two on Saturday...this keeps me busy and out of trouble...and it's mostly fun.

In happier news, I've been getting good feedback on yesterday's posts. The McCaffrey fans seem to like "Dragonchance"---which is very gratifying, since Anne is probably one of the all-time biggest influences on my writing. "Juan Valdez, the Radical Priest and Me" has also had kudos---that's the story behind Paul Simon's "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard". I even got a review on ff.net for "Christmas Comes Early in the South Pacific" (posted here on January 1st) by a delightful young lady from Alabama. "Scratching the Itch"...well, you can't win 'em all.

Supposedly, starting tomorrow, we're going to have warmer weather, and theoretically, it'll be up in the 70s by the weekend. I'll believe it when I see it, but I sure hope so!

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I was raised to understand that the "correct" response to being given a gift is "Thank you" and a smile. It doesn't matter if the gift is godawful, it doesn't matter if you're going to privately roll your eyes, regift it or throw it in a drawer. You smile and say "Thanks!" to the person who gave it to you. Period.

Saying, "I appreciate the thought, but that pretty much sucks."?! NO. You can think it for all you're worth, but you don't freaking SAY it. Especially not when you know the person who gave it doesn't have the resources for whoop-dee-fucking-doo gifts this year.

Next year, the fucker gets a book on ettiquette and some preprinted "Thank You" cards.

Does anybody have an AO3 invite?!

I'm trying to upload my labors, but because of this new archive BS, I'm tearing my hair out. Please, please, please---if you have a spare invite you can zip this way, you will save my sanity. Help!!!

Thanks to a friend of a friend, I'm hooked up and working my way through the intricasies of AO3. Have made it through the ToS; geeky of me, but worth it---otherwise, I would never have stumbled across the following delightful statements: "You understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, or badly spelled. ... Unless it violates some other policy, we will not remove Content for offensiveness, no matter how awful, repugnant, or badly spelled we may personally find that content to be." Somebody over there has a sense of humor!

Onward!

Well, THAT made me smile...and after this evening, when emergency hinge-repair on a door massively pissed me off and probably sent my blood pressure skyrocketing, I glanced at a folder on my desktop: New Briefcase. Except, I read it as New Bitchface.

Which perfectly matched my mood. I'm still not happy, but at least I'm moderately amused.

Kat let me drive her "new" car. She got it last week---it's a Kia Spectra, somewhat used. She isn't happy with it and is making noises about taking it back to the dealership if she can, but compared to my POS, it's not bad. Automatic, power steering, a/c---what more do ya need?

Did the regular weekly office visit for bloodwork---second visit scheduled for Friday because something is out-of-whack. Next week, we see the actual oncologist on Monday and follow up with the neurologist on Wednesday.

Next week's going to be a woolly booger---in addition to the above, I've been ordered to appear at Job Services for some kind of work-search training class on Tuesday. It's supposed to give me the tools, blahblahblah...so I go in nicely dressed, with a copy of my resume, an extra pen and paper and look attentive. Since my continued benefits hinge on it, yeah...it'll also give me a chance to make my mandatory weekly contacts---a Good Thing, since the rest of my week is DAMN BUSY.

In addition to Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday being full, Thursday GK comes in for the wedding---we drive to Tampa directly from the airport, decorate the venue and have the rehersal on Friday, the wedding is on Saturday and we return on Sunday. I'll miss church, but I should be back in time for SUPPER club.

Meanwhile, this week is a little less fraught. Nothing is carved in stone until Thursday-Friday. Mb has a conference she has to go to for work---it's in Tampa, and she wants company, so she's invited me. The plan is that we go over early Thursday and I'll lounge poolside while she's off conferring, then we'll do a spot of shopping sight-seeing, have pizzas back at the hotel, and some must-see TV. (Perhaps I can convert her?) Friday morning, we'll head back, and I should be home in time to make it to movie night at church.

Saturday is currently free, which means laundry, housework, et al. Next Sunday...my lawn gets mowed, but NOT by me. (I set that up when I got back from lunching with Kat.) And sometime this week or early next, I have to finish my dress. GK and I did the pinning when she was here last---I still have to cut it, turn the raw edge over and hem it down and THEN attach the trim. Theoretically, the first part shouldn't take more than an hour. The trim, since it's sequinned, is going to mean hand-stitching for best effect---that's a classic sit-in-front-of-the-TV-and-do-it project. And yes, I will contrive to get pictures of my splendor. Somehow.*

Granted, buying us both lunch may have been less than frugal, but damn it, I *miss* our former standing lunch date. It was like, all of a sudden, bang! I lost my job, got assigned to doctor duty, ran out of money and became the nanny/matron/enemy all at once. And I do not like transitions at the best of times---which this is definitely NOT.
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* Why is it that everyone else in the civilized world seems to have NO PROBLEM procuring contemporary technology---cell phones, digital cameras (sometimes cell phones WITH digital cameras!), iPods, laptops, Blackberries, Blueteeth---and I'm stuck back in the late 20th century with a tied-down landline, a disposable camera and a computer so old the chip in it is a Dorito---and no printer?! /whine

The first hour or so that I'm up are the worst. Although I've developed the habit of setting out my morning "cocktail" of Excedrin and ibuprofen before I go to bed and gulping that down first thing, the wait for it to kick in is interminable. I feel fragile ("Fra-gee-lay---it's Italian!"). My neck, from the base of my skull to about my shoulder blades, has too many nerve endings. It's not pain as such, it's just sensitive to things like...air pressure. My shoulders aren't too happy, either. Sometimes a warm shower helps.

It's true: Youth is wasted on the young.

( An article from Slate magazine about the decline and fall of penmanship. )

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Back in the day, we learned to write cursive beginning in 4th grade. It didn't help that our 4th grade teacher was a sadistic cow who seized any infraction as an excuse to drag us out of the classroom and into the hallway to paddle our behinds. Caught chewing gum or passing a note? Paddle time! Didn't finish your multiplication drills? Paddle time! She also deducted points from an otherwise perfect spelling paper if your handwriting didn't measure up to her standards. To make sure we had plenty of practice, she would also assign us sentences to write, ala Bart Simpson.

I hated her then and I hate her now, even though she died when I was in 6th grade. I hope she's roasting in her own toasty little Lutheran Hell. Bitch.

Ahh, that was cathartic!

I was threatened by a Pelts Leathermore customer. Yes, me, the paragon of customer service! You see, because of the ongoing problems we've had with the credit card verification software, a bunch of orders got cancelled. To make up for that, we created a code for those customers which would match the discount on the promo we had last weekend, plus free shipping. It was supposed to be good through the 14th---except somebody leaked it to third-party websites, and things got messy. So we killed the code, and Ms. Thing got VERY belligerent with me. Told her there was nothing we could do unless she had had an order cancelled. (Greedy, opportunistic, money-grubbing cow.) She demanded my name---which I gave her; I'm in the right AND I had Help Desk tell me so---and she swore she was going to call back and talk to *gasp!* A Manager. Whatever, bitch. You're still not getting the discount!

I will be really glad when the construction project down the block is DONE. They're using some kind of VERY heavy machinery to compact the ground for paving, and my whole house is vibrating---and not in a good way. I can hear plates rattling in the cabinets. This must be what it's like to live in an earthquake zone. I feel fresh sympathy for Californians!

I was going to order in pizza tonight, but the website of the conglomerate whose products I usually consume was FUBAR, so it was cream cheese and rye bread for dinner, ho-hum.

Didn't get around to touching up my roots, and now it's awfully late.

I liked House MD tonight...it had some weird and wonderful moments. The scene with Cam rehearsing her rebuttal in the locker room with Chase commenting struck me as odd, but that may be because of what was going on IRL and the RPF I devoted to it. The bit with Wilson and witchhunts made me bray with laughter. If I had any energy to devote to it, I'd contemplate a fic where a wanna-be patient approaches House (thinking he's warm and cuddly) on the basis of that documentary.

I hope this week is nice and mellow; it's been a while since I had anything like this schedule....