Confessions of a One-Track Mind

In the beginning, there was The List. And The List was lengthy and full of kink. And behold, a meme came forth, and it was accorded thusly:

1. Visit the master list, select your favorite 100
2. Post your favorite 100 behind a cut in your LJ (or as many as you can without going over)
3. Your f-list’s job is to write you “comment pr0n” for your favorites.

(If you can't decide, try picking a random number and challenging yourself!)
Bolded for extra-special favorites ♥

And it was good, because Fluffy is good at schmoop and crack and a total h0r for backstory but fails at pr0n except when the seventh house gets mooned.

( My kinks, and YES some of them ARE kinky. May be TMI for people who think I'm all about safe stuff like clothes, cars and home decor. )

*looks hopeful and hurries off to work*

I love my job.

Seriously.

Tonight, I had the BEST call. It was around 11 PM, and a gentleman called the entity known herein as Pelts Leathermore. He didn't sound drunk, but I could hear a woman laughing in the background, and I'm wondering if she put him up to it. As the name suggest, Pelts offers a variety of leather goods: jackets, handbags, wallets, luggage and the like.

"Thank you for calling Pelts Leathermore, this is Vanillafluffy, how may I help you?"

"I have a question about your products, and I hope you won't take offense."

Great, it's probably some animal rights nut. "I can help you with that!" (Which I HAVE to say, regardless of whether or not it's actually TRUE.)

"You have such great stuff, really luxurious."

"Thank you, sir."

"Do you carry BDSM products?"

"Sir, I'm afraid that's a niche we don't occupy. Unfortunately, the closest thing we have at this time are some chaps."

"I saw those. Thanks anyway."

"Good night, and thank you for calling Pelts Leathermore." I then proceeded to laugh myself inside out.

My caller may have been trying to rattle me, but kiddies, I could discuss the merits of suede vs. leather floggers and stinging toys vs. thuddy toys at length with nary a blush. I worked the dungeon at an adult bookstore for months, and I am not unfamiliar with the Scene. If Pelts did suddenly start branching out into adult gear, I would totally be into it. (Hell, that might even get me into management---I can just imagine indoctrinating the noobs about correct restraint technique.)

Pelts has been having some difficulties lately, and that could turn them around. I can just imagine it---and my caller was right, with their quality, Pelts would turn out superior toys. And really, if they can make bags, why not hoods? Jackets---hello, corsets! Belts? You get the idea.

I'm just wondering who to suggest it to. Heh heh heh....

Today's post is brought to you by The Ladies Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society.

Always practice safe sex! Eventually you'll get pretty good at it.
Have a safe word, and share it with your partner.
Don't forget the rubber sheets!
It's better to switch than fight!

I woke up this morning feeling like autumn is finally here. I turned off the A/C unit in my bedroom, perhaps not until spring, but at least for the moment. I can wander around the house fully dressed without feeling like I'm going to dissolve. I voluntarily put on *jeans* this morning---another one of those things I don't do if I can help it during warm weather. And... *happy sigh* I'm wearing a plaid flannel shirt.

( Clink for kink! )