Confessions of a One-Track Mind

I blew off church this morning to crisis-clean...had to make room on the counter (which I underestimated, of course), do dishes, plow a path from the front door because it had narrowed to a goat-trail, and do a fast pass through the fridge and toss the funkiest bits. I need to make another pass, and do some scrubbing, I need to get eggs and milk, and if I have mustard, I'm damned if I can find it....

OMG, I now have the Jared Padalecki of microwaves---it's ginornous! It does NOT fit on my counter where I'm used to having my microwave. If I insert it so that it faces north, the door won't open all the way because the side of the stove is in the way. If I angle it facing west, the *only* way it fits is between the stove and the wall, and the sweep of the door opening takes up most of the available countertop, not to mention I can't read the buttons because they're in the shadow of the overhead cabinets.

I'm going to have to relocate it. This is when I *really* wish I could remodel and rip out that closet to make room for the fridge. Because then I could install the counter in the ell where the fridge is now, plug the microwave in where the fridge is currently and be all set. What I think I'm going to do is take the wrought-iron fishtank stand and put it on that. Stick that next to the fridge and plug it into the same outlet. Will that work?! Dunno. And if I do that, wtf am I going to do with the storage cart that's loaded with nonperishables (foil, cling wrap, trashbags, etc.)?

But hey, I have a decent-sized microwave. It may require some finessing, but it's still a Very Good Thing.

.

I went into the kitchen looking for brunch and ended up emptying the sink *again*. (This was utencils from the counter; I got the countertop dishes done last night before bed.) There were a few things like ladles and serving spoons and my most-often used knives.

My knife drawer has been not rolling smoothly for some time...as in the last couple years. This afternoon, I actually pulled it all the way out to see WHY it was sticking. Will you look at that, the back and bottom of the drawer are coming apart.

Without delay, I fetched a small hammer from my crafting tools and began realigning and tapping at it. It took a few minutes, but I managed to geet the tongues into the grooves, the doves into the tails, whatever you want to call it---it's FIXED.

I also rearranged things on the wall. It's the wall that's going to be torn out someday, but meanwhile, it saves me having to rummage around for odd-sized stuff that doesn't fit into drawers but disappears in cabinets---jumbo slotted spoon, strainers, funnels and my collection of cast-iron trivets...I also have a collection of "copper" jello molds (actually colored aluminum)---they're displayed on the soffits above my cabinets.

I'm making progress---but I *still* haven't had brunch.

.

I powered up my laptop and was glancing through the "news" stories on my default homepage, AOL, and I ran across this, with the title of "My Birthday Wish: A Kitchen Makeover" (One writer explains why all she wants for her 50th birthday is an updated kitchen, even if her friends think she's a bore.).

Okay, I thought. Here's a gal who's my age, with one of the very same problems I've got, a crappy, outdated kitchen.

Then I clicked on the article and got a look at the kitchen she's bitching about and began to *headdesk*. Her cabinets are at least 20 years newer than mine, she has easily twice the counter space I've got, her fridge is probably from this century and her ceramic cooktop definitely is. Oh, and she has those cute little display nooks above her cabinets.

My circa-1960 kitchen has brown mock-walnut laminate cabinets, a white countertop that was originally glitter-flecked but is now just speckled and grungy, the appliances are 20+ years old and semi-functional (I have burners that don't work and the fridge is tempramental.), about three feet of functional counter space and there's not a goddamned thing cute about it.

Our little domestic diva does on to say, oh no, she doesn't want diamond jewelery or a fantastic trip for her 50th, not even a face-lift or "body work", no, *just* the remodel.

Lady, can I just slap you? Your sense of entitlement really ticks me off.

At this rate, I'm going to dent my desk.
.

Tomorrow, BC is coming over and removing that bloody heating unit from the hall closet. I've been trying to get rid of the freaking thing for WELL over 10 years now, and I'm thrilled by the prospect of having it done at last. With that gone, I'll have a much better idea of how much demolition will be necessary to open up the space for a fridge. It's a question of wiring an outlet there and learning how to install drywall to tidy up said closet. Then I can move the fridge over there, put up a countertop and some pegboard in the area the fridge currently occupies, and improve the efficiency of my kitchen by about 500%.

Well, okay, that's the long-term plan, but just getting the heater out is a HUGE part of it. BC has also procured a very pretty ceiling light fixture, which is also a long-term thing: it'll be perfect in my boudoir when it stops being an office. When the office moves into the other room, so will the fan, at which point the very ornate antique goldtone fixture will be divine in here.... Meanwhile, it can wait. The fixture in the middle room can stay where it is for now.

Did anybody else notice Alona Tal on The Cleaner this week? Nice to see she's still getting work....

I have a phone--a real, live phone in my house, so I no longer have to go running all over town to place a simple call. It's been about a year since my old number was disconnected. I had a couple unsatisfactory PAYGo experiences, and finally sucked it up and got plugged in through my cable/internet provider.

This means I can stay in touch with my friends, order pizza from the great place down the road that ISN'T an on-line chain, do comparison shopping, call out from work if I have to---in short, take care of business as usual, without having to resort to strategies like letting myself into the office at church (I have a key, and as long as it's only local calls, no one minds.) or using the pay phone back in what used to be the layaway department at the local Wal*Mart. The latter is the only pay phone that I know of that is a) available 24/7, b) quiet, as in, no traffic noises in the background, and c) also has a place to sit down.

The guy from the cable company was cute, albeit in a way-too-young-for-me kind of way. He didn't say anything about what a horror this place is, got me hooked up in less than an hour, and gives me hope for the future of the world. (Okay, so I'm really happy to have a phone.) What the hell, I tipped him $5. I don't know if one is supposed to tip service technicians that way and maybe I've just been oblivious all this time, but really. Phone. Happy. SO worth it.

Although most of the house is still a pit, I got a wild hair and got medieval on the kitchen. Took out the trash, created *another* whole bag of trash, consolidated a couple deposits of cans, cleared off the stove and countertop (the sink is still full), but huzzah, there's room to cook! And, I found a carton of strawberry Whoppers that I *knew* I'd bought before Easter, but they'd disappeared in the rubble.

I think maybe I'll have pizza for dinner---I can't remember the last time I had fresh pizza; not this year, at least---watch Jericho and Criminal Minds and go to bed EARLY, because tomorrow I have to be AT WORK at 12:15 for Trendicrap training.

Smoochies!